[Log] I hope this is an okay place for this

[veepofchess]

Characters: Lelouch and Suzaku again
Format: Prose
This log is: closed
Location: Dungeons! But there is no dungeoneering to be had here
Summary: Lelouch finally remembers something important.
Warnings: Angst, threatening, the Geass cast being the Geass cast

Now he knew the truth of what had been going on at home. It had been quite a painful ride through those memories. When he first met C.C., Suzaku being in uniform. When he'd been forced to kill Euphemia. All of those battles against the Lancelot. The confrontation at Kaminejima. The banishing of the one million Zeroes to the Black Knights' floating island nation, seat of the UFN.

Some had been mild to relive. Others rocked him to his very core. That Knight of Round that had held him down before his fathers' throne, one eye held closed, the other forced open so that his memory may be modified. Bound in a prisoner's jumpsuit, held down by Suzaku. His face remained stony through the whole process. Suzaku was supposed to have been the only person he could truly trust. That he could ask to shoulder a portion of the burden of this war on. The one that kept him from losing his mind. That he could entrust Nunnally to.

But no, he couldn't even do that. He'd detonated the FLEIJA over Tokyo. Even after prostrating himself in front of him, only to be rewarded by having his face pressed into the gravel, and Schneizel's forces trying to take him captive. He'd come within yards of killing Nunnally and destroying Asford Academy. He'd been here less than six weeks, and the crater that had been Tokyo was still keenly visible in his mind's eye. Rolo's news of Nunnally's death still hung in his ears. The two siblings that had never really been able to get to know each other, they only had the eldest as the common thread.

So now, he had a plan. Perhaps he was reacting out of sentimentality or excess emotion. But this was what he resolved to do. The gun had arrived, and while that was purely incidental, it would serve a purpose. Once he regained consciousness from the force of the memories, he used the method to summon Suzaku and himself into the dungeon, without any warning to Suzaku whatsoever. They arrived in the quiet, empty room they'd left the previous day. Guaranteed privacy.

While Lelouch's face was as bored as ever, something in his eyes crackled with danger, and his body practically vibrated with rage.

Comments

[swordofzero]

Suzaku has been attempting homework when all of a sudden the world shifted around him and he was inside the dungeon. It took a moment to get his bearings, it was definitely a weird sensation if you had no warning. Still he went to stand close to Lelouch so he could draw his weapon, he noticed that Lelouch looked angry, and wondered if something had happened.

"Where's Britannia?"

[veepofchess]

"She will not be joining us today," he replied. His voice was frosty.

"We have something to discuss." He made no move to draw Suzaku's weapon, or to move through the dungeon.

"Do you have any recollection of my memory being modified prior to our arrival here?"

[swordofzero]

Suzaku blinked at the tone, had something happened between Lelouch and Britannia? He stood still, moving automatically into a military posture, wary and watching.

"Your memory?" He frowned as the start of a headache built in his mind. "No..."

[veepofchess]

Probably the only reason why this maneuver worked was because he'd likely caught hm off guard. And the cracked open crate on the ground behind him would definitely serve getting Suzaku on the floor. His body mostly reacted. The cracks in his carefully crafted exterior were opening quickly. He grabbed Suzaku by the front of his uniform and shoved him toward the wall. "LIAR!" he shouted, his voice cracking. "Don't you stand there and lie to me!"

[swordofzero]

Lelouch attacking him was the last thing Suzaku expected and he hit the wall with a thump. He didn't even try to fight back, a memory then. Lelouch regained a memory and Suzaku could think of only one it could be... though he had no idea what it had to do with memories being modified... His head pounded so he grasped to the one thing that he understood.

"What did you remember Lelouch? Was it FLEIJA?" Because if it was then Suzaku deserved this anger...

[veepofchess]

"It was FLEIJA, it was every time you and your Lancelot fought against me. It was when you allowed Charles to take the memory of Nunnally from me! I've trusted you! But you're a traitor, and you don't even remember!" Hysterical is definitely a word that could be used to describe his voice right now. "It's because of this place that you can't even do the decent thing and admit to it!"

[swordofzero]

Suzaku stood still. He had known that this would come, when Lelouch remembered FLEIJA, he had almost killed Nunnally... but the rest... He had never fought Lelouch in the Lancelot... fought for Lelouch but never against him... That had been against...

Zero.

Pain flashed in Suzaku's mind and he slumped a little against the wall. What was happening? Why was Lelouch... he had called him a traitor...

"Lelouch I..." He was a traitor, he knew that. It was something he hadn't forgotten, but... he had never betrayed Lelouch...

He winced at the headache.

[veepofchess]

He retained his grip on Suzaku's uniform. He didn't show signs of stopping his siege on the walls at the edge of Suzaku's memory. "You should have fought to destroy the empire. But no. You fight to keep its hold on a people it never had a right to dominate in the first place. Britannia uses its power against the weak because it can. You--" he suddenly ran out of steam. His shoulders shook.

He reached behind his back, under the edge of the vest. From there he pulled the gun, and just held it down at his side. He finally completely released Suzaku. The cracks suddenly opened all at once. He laughed. The same wild laughter that rang through the comms after a particular ruthless victory from Zero's cockpit.

[swordofzero]

He had fought in order to change things from the inside... His headache built as he tried to remember why Lelouch believed different. He shook with the effort of trying to remember, of not being able to defend himself against such claims because he didn't understand where Lelouch was coming from. They were working together... to change Britannia...

But Lelouch didn't seem to be from that time... When he was released he stood up, to freeze again at the sight of the gun, and the laughter...

"Lelouch..."

[veepofchess]

This was ridiculous. Suzaku couldn't even be properly guilty. He couldn't remember enough. But he had a solution to that. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pouch. He holstered the gun to free up his hands. He grabbed Suzaku's arm. "I will keep getting these until you can remember!" He growled. "Until you remember what you did to my family! What you let the Emperor do to me!"

[swordofzero]

Suzaku stared down at the charm, he knew there was something big that he was forgetting, part of him wanted to know; needed to know why Lelouch was so angry. Part of him feared to know but... he already knew he had done so much wrong that he should never be forgiven.

Slowly Suzaku took the memory charm from Lelouch and clipped it onto his bracelet.

Zero taunting him about killing his father, Suzaku holding him at gun point. CC appearing before Euphemia's massacre. The building knowledge of something Suzaku didn't want to know, didn't want to acknowledge.

"I'll destroy Britannia!" Lelouch's angry childish voice, his final words before the Ashford family took him and Nunnally in, leaving Suzaku alone with his guilt.

Pointing a gun at Zero, hearing the gunshot as the helmet fell, revealing the truth Suzaku hadn't wanted to know.

Memories came thick and fast, holding Lelouch down in front of his father whilst the emperor rewrote his memories. Using Nunnally as bait to test Lelouch, to make sure he hadn't remembered.

Remembered that he was Zero, the masked terrorist, the one who killed Euphie, who turned her into a killer.

With a wordless roar Suzaku dived at Lelouch, kicking out with the force of what he had just remembered.

Lelouch was Zero, his enemy.

[veepofchess]

Lelouch was knocked back, onto the ground. On the way down, he pulled the gun again. He couldn't best Suzaku in a physical altercation but he could certainly bend things back into his favor. He pushed the weapon against Suzaku's side. "Do you want me to kill you? Is that what you want?" Yes, this entire situation was madness. He was livid, beside himself with rage.

[swordofzero]

Suzaku froze when the gun was pressed against his side, meeting Lelouch's eyes. His own eyes were blazing with anger but there was also sadness there, and guilt.

"Yes," his voice was hollow, "Do you want to? Will you pull the trigger?" Kill him like he killed Euphie. Like he killed so many.

It all made sense and Suzaku couldn't believe he had forgotten, the memories were still falling into place, he met Lelouch's... Zero's... eyes and waited.

[veepofchess]

When Suzaku admitted it so readily, something clicked in his mind before he could pull the trigger. He'd damned Suzaku to a long life, one that he couldn't escape in battle, or through any means at his own disposal. And now, when they were both free of the Geass power, death was still meaningless.

"You're not stopping me, Suzaku. You would have taken this gun from me by now," there was an insidious amusement in his voice while he said this. "You're only letting me keep it because you want me to be the one to kill you. But have you forgotten so soon? Death is meaningless. In one hour, you will be back in your bed, with a new upgrade to celebrate your status." As he went on, he sounded closer to one of his maddened laughs.

"There is no Geass here. Now that you have escaped its power, you are still unable to do what you think will make amends for what you've done. How pathetic!"

[swordofzero]

Death was meaningless here, and so even with this news crashing down around him Suzaku had no choice but to live. At the mention of Geass his head began to hurt, dizziness taking over for a moment. Another lost memory, Suzaku felt a surge of anger. What else had they taken from him?

He dived forward again, no longer caring about the gun, reaching out to grasp Lelouch's throat.

"You speak as if you are the innocent one, as if you don't have your own crimes to pay for!"

[veepofchess]

"I have always done what was necessary to create the peaceful world Nunnally and Rolo deserve! I have never strayed from that. If I must be the demon to create it then so be it!" Lelouch moved to stop the hand with his free one. Knowing death was impermanent didn't remove his sense of self-preservation. He struggled to wiggle his way out from under Suzaku. But he had other ways of leveling the playing field. He reached to Suzaku's chest and drew his weapon. Using the moment of pain and strange feelings to shove him off.

[swordofzero]

Suzaku's eyes flashed angrily because Lelouch was right. But if he remembered that he should remember that Suzaku was helping him... Suzaku's anger was starting to calm as the final pieces fell into place. Yes Lelouch was Zero but Lelouch was also his emperor and together they were going to create a peaceful world.

Except Lelouch didn't know that, couldn't remember it or had not yet experienced it. That knowledge, that this Lelouch really was just Zero; still believed that being Zero and being a terrorist was the way to change the world hit him as hard as the sensation of Lelouch drawing his weapon.

With nothing to support him he stumbled backwards and glared, "Put that back." He stood ready to attack again.

[veepofchess]

Lelouch was too blinded by his rage to remember anything he'd been told about Suzaku becoming his knight or himself being an emperor. And even if he did remember, he wouldn't believe a word of it. Not when it had come from Suzaku's mouth.

He didn't respond to Suzaku's demand, he simply looked the weapon over in his hand. Yes, Suzaku knew now who he was. And it was almost certain he'd go to Dolorosa about what now knew. He could remedy this, but he needed time. And while killing him wouldn't do it, there was something else that would.

He pressed the muzzle of the gun against the housing of the primary mechanism of the slash harken. And before Suzaku could react to what he was doing, he pulled the trigger.

[swordofzero]

Suzaku's eyes widened as he realised what he was about to do, "Lelouch..." Which was as far as he got before he screamed in agony crumpling to the ground, falling unconscious at Lelouch's feat as the damaged weapon disappeared from his hands.

[veepofchess]

The impact of the bullet on the weapon stung his hand, and he took a moment to shake it out before he finally holstered the weapon. He took a moment to collect himself before he crouched beside Suzaku's limp form. He had only seen people pass out from damage in the battle records, but this was his first time seeing it in person. He rolled him over onto his back, and he brushed his hair out of his face. Surprisingly gentle gestures, considering what he'd just done.

But for now, he had countermeasures to undertake. First things first. He typed out a quick, terse message to Britannia, telling her to meet him at the exit area of the dungeon immediately. He'd linger there with Suzaku for a couple of minutes before he exited the dungeon, one hand bunched in Suzaku's uniform, just in case. He was sure he looked appropriately exhausted to use a cover of getting overwhelmed if anyone unnecessary was around.