Dealing [Closed to Black 2-A]

[fracturedsoul]

Characters: Dirk, open to roommates
Format: Starting in prose, feel free to switch
This log is: closed
Location: Black 2-A, early morning Wednesday
Summary: Introspective bullshit, smuppets
Warnings: Language, smuppets

Sleeping may be a thing Dirk has to do in Rakuen, but that doesn't mean he's going to go without a fight. He stays up late and wakes up early; while he's never actually freaked out by anything -- he doesn't get freaked out, he doesn't -- there's something viscerally uncomfortable about the process of dreaming. He never did it before last Saturday, not the way most people do, and he doesn't like it.

So he's sitting awake in his bed, putting together another smuppet, bed covered in like half a dozen others that he's finished in the past few hours. The lights are out and he's working by moonlight alone, pointy shades resting on top of his head to help him see just a little better. It's peaceful this early, being the only one awake -- almost like back home, which, while lonely, is what he's used to. It's relaxing, and he needs to relax after all the stress he's been through in the past few days. The stress of being trapped in just one body, of having bits and pieces of his memory inaccessible to him with seemingly no rhyme or reason, of being surrounded by trolls and alternate universe siblings, of that clusterfuck of a battle the day before, of Crocker arriving and being sent over to Conquest and instantly bonding with that Feferi bitch --

Wait, when had that happened? It hasn't even been a week since Dirk arrived, so another train shouldn't have... Oh. That was just a dream he had. Fucking Christ, how do normal people keep this shit straight? He rubs at his eyes with his fingers.

He's up from midnight until like six. Surely no one will bother him. They're all asleep, right?

Comments

[greenspaces]

"I mean for yelling at you. I know that you wouldn't actually hurt him, I just..." she looks off. "Got really worried. He's one of my best friends in the whole world."

It's probably because she's reminded of Dave that she thinks he'll listen to her. "I just wanted to tell someone about them. The dreams. Do you have scary dreams?"

[fracturedsoul]

His face remains impassive, but shit, that's touching. Dave's lucky to have someone as hard-headed and sincere as she is. "Oh, that. No problem. I understand completely."

He's not sure how to answer at first. "Not really. I've always been awake on Derse, so I never had actual dreams before I came here."

[greenspaces]

"Me neither. I've always been awake on Prospit, so I never had bad dreams...and then I came here, and everything was scary. I died, back at home."

Carefully, she uncrosses her arms and is quick to hide her hands behind her back, wringing them a little. "Do you miss your best friends?"

[fracturedsoul]

Dirk's eyes briefly flicker down to her arms when she hides her hands behind her back; fidgety, isn't she?

"Yeah." He's actually been thinking about how lucky the players in Dave's session are to all be here together. "You died. You mean completely?" Not just her dream body, like...

[greenspaces]

Definitely fidgety. She covers it up with an awkward smile. "Technically I never existed. Which is kind of like dying, but worse, because no one remembers you. Prospit was always really nice, though. I loved it there."

But the smile fades. Prospit. She'll never see it again -- her clouds, her golden tower. It's a painful memory: the streets with all of her friends, happy smiles on their faces, holding her hands and braiding her hair. She was their Witch, their Princess...and now they're gone.

There's a long silence, and her hands finally stop wringing themselves together to cover her eyes. She's not going to cry in front of him. She's tired of crying.

[fracturedsoul]

He doesn't want to watch her cry, and even if she isn't mad at him anymore he figures crying in front of him is gonna be uncomfortable for her, too. So he half-turns away from her, turning his head to look at the opposite wall.

"It seems like it would have been." A bright, sunny place for people like Jane and Jake. And Jade. "You never existed? A statement like that must have a pretty interesting story behind it. If you're up to it, I mean."

[greenspaces]

"I don't mind telling you. You should probably know, since you are going to play this game too... I'm fine." She's fine. She tells herself that, sniffling one last time before removing her hands. Jade reminds herself that she didn't cry as much before. She should know better. It's silly to be scared of something that might not even happen, something that couldn't harm her here if it tried.

She's fine.

"John died, and I never got into the game. So I spent four months wandering around on earth, it was really lonely. But then Dave knew he had to go back in time to save John, so I didn't exist any more. Neither did Rose."

[fracturedsoul]

Dirk doesn't really know how to react to that. That's pretty goddamn terrible. He'd tried to account for every variable, think up a possibility for every situation, but if one of his session's players just up and died -- and not just their dream body, but for real -- he still doesn't know what he would do. What could be done. They don't have a time player.

And then, he thinks... When they all figure out this city's big secret and find a way back home...

What's going to happen to Jade?

"I'm sorry to hear that." Though it's true, there's little emotion in his voice. "It's good that he was able to fix things, but I'm sure even knowing that doesn't make things better."

[greenspaces]

That's mostly what her nightmares are about. Getting left behind -- or worse, being forced to go home with only a death left to face. What happens after you die? Or rather, what happens after you cease to exist?

Darkness, she thinks. Nothingness. Being a nonentity is scarier than anything she can imagine.

"Not really. He's really sad too, and I don't know how to make him happy...I care about him a lot. Both Daves, because they are both really sweet! And super cool."

[fracturedsoul]

Both Daves. Is that who the Dave at Conquest is, then? That makes sense... Why they already knew each other before coming here, and why he uses a different text color -- two people using the same chumhandle and the same color is too much of a headache.

He folds his arms over his chest, looking down at the floor. Sweet... Yeah, Dave does seem to have a good side, although Dirk hasn't seen much of it, nor does he expect to. Cool, on the other hand... Well, Jade seems kind of like a dork, so it's no wonder she'd think someone like Dave was cool, even if he has a long way to go.

Does she like Dave like that? She sure is speaking pretty highly of him. Of both of him.

"It's tough trying to make sure other people are happy." Hell, what is he supposed to say to make Jade feel better? Dave at least still exists. "What kinds of things usually cheer him up?"

[greenspaces]

"I know. I wish there was a magic spell that made people happy when they needed to be! Dave could use a smile." She giggles a little halfheartedly, leaning against the wall. "Both of them.

"I don't really know. Probably drawing comics, or making music. But I think the things he's sad about are things that you can't fix with stuff like that."

[fracturedsoul]

"...yeah. Stuff like that might make someone happy for a moment, but it won't solve the underlying problems." He turns back to face her again. He might not know her very well, but her situation is actually very distressing. He'd love to have a magic spell like that. Something that could make everything better for everyone.

"I knew Sburb wasn't just some ordinary video game, but it looks like I underestimated its possibilities." Honestly, he'd just assumed that most of the trouble they'd face would come from the Condesce. "There's still a lot I have to learn. It's not very often I can say this and have it be true, but I don't really know what to say here."

[greenspaces]

"It wouldn't solve anyone's problems. It might just make them sadder, if we tried to fix things that they didn't want to be fixed. That's what happened to me, for awhile."

She nods at him. There was a lot for her to learn, as well -- so she understands the feeling of helplessness. But it's not in her nature to let people linger in uncomfortable feelings, so she tries to reassure him. "I think you can do it. You're going to win! Especially if you're a Strider. Striders always do good things."

[fracturedsoul]

In the darkness, it should be difficult to make out the slight change in his expression, the upturned corner of his mouth on one side. Striders always do good things. Were there others back home? Family members he can't remember? Dave or Sis, or someone else entirely?

"My last name is about as relevant to this game as rainbows are to Rose Lalonde. It's not like I can do a damn thing without the other players. But I do appreciate the show of faith."

Even though she's trying to act positive, part of Dirk's already-overwhelmed mind has now been assigned the task of figuring out how to help her. He'll need to find an excuse to ask Dave how this time shit works...

[greenspaces]

"Rose would look really pretty wearing rainbows." She believes that, too. Rose is beautiful in the same way that John and Dave are handsome and they're all her best friends, so she doesn't mind saying it.

"I wish I had gotten to play the game. I was looking forward to helping my friends."

[fracturedsoul]

He'd meant that Rose couldn't see them, but he doesn't bother to correct her. "You're here now, at least, playing this other game. You can help them now."

[greenspaces]

"I'm going to. I'm going to find a way to let them go home, so they can all be heroes."

[fracturedsoul]

And then what? But he doesn't pose the question directly to her. He can tell it would upset her.

"They're lucky to have you, Harley."

[greenspaces]

She's already making plans to either stay here or go back and cease to exist. Preferably the former.

"I'm lucky to have them."

[fracturedsoul]

"Damn, if I didn't know any better I'd think you all went out and rolled in a bed of four-leaf clovers." Sounds like Dirk and his three best friends, honestly. "Are you feeling better now?"

[greenspaces]

"What does that mean?" She's confused. Striders never make any sense.

"I'm okay. I'll probably go back to the closet."

[fracturedsoul]

"It means you've got something good going on."

Wat. "The closet?"

[greenspaces]

She points at the closet down the hall. It's a little dark, so it might be hard to make out. "I live in there. Well, I just sleep in there a lot. I like sleeping in there."

[fracturedsoul]

Dirk just stares. Well, it's not his place to judge. "Just so you know, we do have a free bed in our room if you'd rather stay there."

[greenspaces]

"I've got a bed! It's just in the prefect's dorm, and I don't have a roommate. I miss Vriska."

She shrugs.