[accidental video]

[pencilpremonition]

[Not long after the assembly...]

[Becca has a PDA with video function now, but she's had that for a little bit. That's not the important thing. She tosses it onto her bed and it turns on accidentally. She sits down with a memory charm, which she puts on eagerly. Almost immediately, her eyes go wide, and she tips over onto the bed, drawing her knees to her chest. She cries out in fear and remembered pain, shuddering horribly as tears fall from her eyes.]

[WARNING: Becca just got back a memory involving a physically abusive childhood. While she won't dump this on just anyone who responds, there is a good chance it might come up at least in passing. PLEASE indicate your limits when responding so I can keep her responses within your comfort zone. I can keep threads completely trigger free if that's what you would like, but please tell me what you need. Please exercise caution when reading comment threads to this entry as there may be triggering content in the individual threads.]

Comments

[pencilpremonition]

[She squeezes his hand gently, finding it easy enough to shift her upset into worrying about him.]

You...you got touched...that way...as a kid. Didn't you?

[It makes her skin crawl thinking about it, not that she's near someone who's been through that, but that it happened to someone she cares about. She wants to pull him back into her arms and hold him, but she doesn't want to freak him out.]

I don't...remember my dad at all... I hope it's cause he left or something and not that... I'm just missing a memory...of that...

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

[Alex actually pulls his hand away when she asks that, turning away and sitting on the floor with his back leaned against the bed. His voice is quiet and he pulls his legs to his chest.]

No one here knows, a-and I like that. I j-just was hit by Father and w-was tested on like a r-rat. That's why I h-hate being t-touched; n-not because Father u-used to set m-me up on 'playdates'.

I wish I d-didn't remember him! O-or any of the other people, and I d-don't r-remember everything. Didn't b-before getting here. The b-bits I d-don't remember should s-stay forgotten!

[pencilpremonition]

Alex.

[She cuddles into his sweatshirt, but despite her tears, her voice is serious.]

Alex, I'd rather cut my tongue out than tell anyone. Okay? I won't... I'd never... Please don't be scared. I'd... I'd rather die than make you suffer being outed that, okay? I'll...

[She reaches her hand down, offering it to him.]

We're in this together. I promise.

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

[He takes a moment, then sighs] I-I meant to c-come here ta comfort you.

I-I guess you j-just saw past the veil I h-have up. If everyone's th-thinking I'm so skittish b-because of the tests and the physical abuse... n-no one will suspect anything else....

N-not even Loretta a-and Mikel knew for a l-long time....

[pencilpremonition]

It's...cause we're too similar. You can't lie to me and I can't lie to you. It's...

[she gets down and sits beside him, scooting close but not close enough to touch]

We're in this together. And that'll make us strong...

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

[Alex nods, quiet for another moment before asking softly,] ... n-nothing l-like that happened t-to you, d-did it?

[pencilpremonition]

I don't know. There's...still a lot of holes. But...I'm okay with hugging and kissing people? So maybe not.

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

You're n-not p-prom-miscuous either, so you're p-probably lucky.

[pencilpremonition]

Yeah...my...my affection's for my friends. Not...just anybody.

...You're my friend.

[She blushes softly and looks away.]

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

[Alex blushes so hard that his ears go a bright red too. He shifts a bit, tensing, but also smiling.] Ah, y-y-you're m-my f-friend too.

[pencilpremonition]

You're...you're really special to me, actually. I uhm.

I'm...I'm...

[She sighs, trying to take his hand without actually looking over at him.]

If I were a normal person I guess I should be creeped out by what happened to you or something, I dunno... That isn't fair but that's what's normal.

But I just... It's different. I understand. Well, the being knocked around part. And I just...

I...

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

[Alex knew what was coming and he couldn't deal with that right now. He didn't know how he felt about her, he liked her, but did he really like her, love her? He couldn't figure that out right know, and not knowing that, how could he possibly respond to Becca telling him she did. He looks to his wrist realizing there's no watch on it as he says,] O-oh, G-God, look a-at that wrist! [He stands, laughing nervously.] I h-have to go... go f-feed... feed m-my computer! Right!

[He rushes to the door but stops, staring at the door.] I-It's not that I d-don' l-like-like you, but, I d-don't know how to... w-well, feelings... I c-can't figure th-this out s-so fast.
[He smiles reassuringly, without actually totally turning around or making eye-contact with Becca before leaving. He actually didn't go far, just rounding the corner and sitting down to collect himself.]

[pencilpremonition]

[The moment he starts freaking out, she regrets even trying to explain. She presses her eyes shut, just letting him blabber about what he needs to. She can feel the tears welling, and she fights hard against them. When he finally admits that he just can't figure it out, she nods her head absently, making a noncommittal noise as he leaves. Then she returns to her bed, gathers his sweatshirt in her arms, and starts sobbing.]