[accidental video]

[pencilpremonition]

[Not long after the assembly...]

[Becca has a PDA with video function now, but she's had that for a little bit. That's not the important thing. She tosses it onto her bed and it turns on accidentally. She sits down with a memory charm, which she puts on eagerly. Almost immediately, her eyes go wide, and she tips over onto the bed, drawing her knees to her chest. She cries out in fear and remembered pain, shuddering horribly as tears fall from her eyes.]

[WARNING: Becca just got back a memory involving a physically abusive childhood. While she won't dump this on just anyone who responds, there is a good chance it might come up at least in passing. PLEASE indicate your limits when responding so I can keep her responses within your comfort zone. I can keep threads completely trigger free if that's what you would like, but please tell me what you need. Please exercise caution when reading comment threads to this entry as there may be triggering content in the individual threads.]

Comments

[action]

[greenspaces]

Kind of! But when you start experiencing it, you realize it isn't very confusing at all.

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

I think that's how life always is. It's easy to understand what you live through.

[action]

[greenspaces]

That's true. And not so easy to understand everyone else's lives.

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

Yeah... Especially the weirder their lives are compared to yours. That's...why I gave up on finding anyone who understands...

[action]

[greenspaces]

[ Nods. ]

If you ever want to talk...I don't mind listening. Even if I wasn't there.

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

Did you have a nice family?

Re: [action]

[greenspaces]

I had a nice dog! Grandpa was nice too, when he was on the island, but he died when I was five. So I was raised by my dog.

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

I wish my mother died when I was five.

[action]

[greenspaces]

[ ... ] She wasn't very nice?

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

[pained laugh]

To say the least.

[action]

[greenspaces]

That's sad. I'm really sorry. [ And she is; moms are supposed to be the good guys in life stories, not the bad ones. ]

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

The memory I got back today... It was... It...

Every time...she burned me...

[SHUDDER]

It hurts.

[action]

[greenspaces]

[ To her credit, she doesn't try to apologize for what she hasn't done. Instead, she shakes her head. ]

I know it doesn't help with the memory, but... She's not here. I don't think she can get you now.

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

I just...wish I didn't have to remember....

[action]

[greenspaces]

Oh.

[ Wait she knows the answer to this one. ]

Take it off, and you won't remember. You have to wear it, to remember it.

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

[That is....suspiciously easy. Becca slips the charm off and takes a deep, relaxed breath.]

That... I'm going to have to write down what that does and remember to never put it on again...or something... Except...

[Talk about mood whiplash. She braces herself for something horrible, even though without the charm on she's not sure what that horrible thing is. And she puts it back on. She tenses up and shudders again, shaking her head.]

No... I...I need this... It's part of me... It's...it's why I am the way I am...

[action]

[greenspaces]

I understand. Not entirely, but...

[ Nods. ]

I wouldn't want to forget why I died. It's why I'm the way I am, too.

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

You died?

[action]

[greenspaces]

Mhm. It became as if I never existed.

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

I'm so sorry.

[action]

[greenspaces]

It's okay. It's part of the video game we play. Some people have to die.

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

But you die for real if you die in the game?

[action]

[greenspaces]

Yes. It's not a video game like any other game. It really does destroy the world, and you can really die.

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

That's horrible...why would you even want to play?

[action]

[greenspaces]

We had to. It was either that or die!

[ She smiles. ]

But my friends are going to save everyone. That's what they're supposed to do.