rakuen | Event: Wednesday

"You sound certain." Vane replied as he endeavored to sit up a little more and couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief when his head didn't spin further. Now fully upright instead of resting on his elbows, the engineer closed his eyes for a moment as he felt his body struggle to obey him. A sign that he was a in lot more pain than he had originally thought. It also felt as though one of his lungs had fluttered for a moment, making it hard to breathe.

One of the reasons why he never took his painkiller unless necessary was because it made it extremely dangerous to function. A cut on the finger, a bruise on his arm or even a broken toe... he wouldn't feel any of it. He wouldn't even know if he was in water cold enough to stop his heart or if his arm was on fire. All sense of pain and temperature had gone away and while he could still feel pressure and the shape of objects- it still left him seriously vulnerable.

"I don't know anything else that would make the link break..." Suzaku blinked watching as he closed his eyes.

"Vane... are you alright?"

It was a moment before Vane responded. Opening his eyes again, he attempted a wry smile at the knight as he brought a hand up to his chest to check the beating of his heart.

"Yes. Between the climbing and your fall, I think my heart just about had it." The remark is cheerful, meant to be a joke even though Vane knows full well it isn't. His body is aggravatingly frail and this environment isn't helping whatsoever. "What do you want to do, Suzaku?"

"Your heart?" Suzaku looked worried, and guilty for what he had done, even if it had been an accident.

"We can rest here, until you feel better..."

"It's alright." Vane replied, knowing it wouldn't make any difference. "I can't feel a thing." He added, trying to encourage Suzaku while gesturing with the arm he had injected. In his mind, it was probably better to keep moving now while the medicine was in effect because- realistically? He injuries were either going to be of no real consequence or they were bad enough that he was going to die. And if it was the latter, well then there was fuck all they could do about it out here.

Better to just die then and utilize the city's system to come back to life. "Do you want to look for it?"

Not feeling a thing probably wasn't a good thing. But Suzaku nodded not wanting to push Vane to answer.

He thought, he kind of did... If Lelouch was gone... He remembered Lelouch's strange dream, the fact he claimed Zero Requiem had already happened...

Then Lelouch was dead... And he was gone...

Suzaku's fists clenched and unwelcome tears filled his eyes. He nodded, it would be more work but...

He wanted something to remember...

Unlike earlier, the next action Vane took was entirely calculated. Bringing up his hand, he used his numb fingers to carefully wipe at Suzaku's eyes, brushing away tears. A gesture of kindness that was furthered by an understanding look of sympathy.

"Do you need a minute? It's better to let it out than to keep it inside. Trust me- sorrow festers." He added, his voice taking on a sorrowful note.

He hadn't cried since after Euphie died and he wasn't about to start now; it got him nowhere. Not that he could even if he wanted to, tears were in his eyes but they refused to fall, sobs got stuck in his throat and he forced himself to swallow them.

Vane wiping away his tears was strange, trying to withdraw from his kindness because he didn't deserve it. "I'm fine."

For a moment Vane gave Suzaku a searching stare before finally pulling his hand away. "We're strangers, so I don't have any right to tell you what to do." He finally said, voice appropriately serious as he slowly drew his knees back and started to stand. "But I'd feel better if you cried. If not on my shoulder than on someone else's. Not being able to cry when you need to is... hard."

And with that bit said, he managed to get to a standing position with only a little bit of swaying. All in all, looking good.

Suzaku blinked at him, he understood what he was saying but... There was no one who he would cry on, and it was better that way. No one to hurt.

"I'm fine," the lie came easier this time and he stood. "Are you alright to continue?"

The look Vane gave him was disapproving, as though he knew Suzaku had no intention of allowing anyone to see his tears. "I'll manage." He replied in even tones as he headed towards the cliff and began to search for the small chain of silver he'd seen drop away from Suzaku when the entire incident began.

As he bent slightly to get a better look, his hand had to go out against the rock when his vision swam, making him close his eyes and grit his teeth in irritation. There wasn't pain, no, but he could feel a pulse in the back of his mind and the slight pangs of nausea that came with it.

Once it passed, he opened his eyes again and allowed himself a slow, shallow breath. Yes, he'd manage. He always had, after all.

Suzaku went to search as well, glad that Vane had dropped the subject of him crying. He saw Vane stumble and close his eyes and frowned. "Sit down, Wait here. I will search and if I don't find it we can just continue..."

Settling against the wall, Vane took a deeper breath this time and watched Suzaku continue the search. "It's your choice." He answered quietly, even as he reached up and gently touched his head, wincing when his fingers found the spot that was most likely bruised. Not because it hurt but because he could feel the blood behind his eyes begin to pound again.

"But I think it'd be better if we found it. For your comfort, if nothing else."

Suzaku shook his head, now that the immediate shock and sadness was over he had pushed the grief to one side, locked it in the store room in his head with all the other things he wasn't thinking about.

"It doesn't matter, rest for a moment and then we will continue."

Event: Wednesday

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