'why should i spoil the amazing knowledge of cracking that shit open and immersing your little booty into it???'

Minus ten points in respect. Considering all he really did with his time was read shit on the internet and what not, he actually liked reading. It passed time when he can't converse.

'i dont think we can be friends
my poor little book nerd feelings have been incredibly hurt
i am actually crying inside from your words
its a monstrosity
i will just wallow in a corner with edgar allen poe poems
maybe some emily dickinson while im at it'