haha
oh fuck
trying to avoid sis
good luck with that
i bet if shes a ninja
so was bro
which means if she wants to show up
she goddamn will

[Oh yes. The avoiding the problem thing seems to run in their blood.]

shes pretty okay now
of course it was serkets fault shit hit the fan so stupidly
serkets a bitch though and i punched her in the eye for it
what type of stupid bitch lies about that type of crap anyways
jegus

[He keeps out the part where Vriska also beat the shit out of him. Okay.]

your headmistress is a fucking bitch
she throws a fit everytime we win
and she hands out penalties like candy
kill people
blow shit up
i wish this was all a joke but both has actually happened
go figure

[Dave also leaves out the part where he totally might have died once too.]