rakuen | Peaches and apologies (ATTN Enki) [Day 3]

Entry tags:

Peaches and apologies (ATTN Enki) [Day 3]

Characters: Suzaku and Enki
Format: Prose!
This log is: closed
Location: Red Dorm
Summary: Suzaku feels bad that he upset Enki (though not too bad about kicking Shoryu) and goes to apologise. He brings peaches (because jerk kings get spinkicks friends get fruit)
Warnings:

It had been two days since Suzaku had kicked Shoryu in the kitchen and he was beginning to feel guilty. Not about kicking Shoryu, despite all the man had said Suzaku had thought at the time that he had deserved him. He had apologised, in his mind it was over and he never had to talk to Shoryu again.

He felt bad because he had a feeling his actions had upset Enki. Well he was pretty sure his actions had upset Enki, he had kicked Enki's king, no matter how much of an idiot that king was. He would be pretty angry if anyone hurt Lelouch. Enki didn't like violence but that didn't mean he wouldn't be furious.

The rain had not let up, so Suzaku was soaked to the skin by the time he arrived at the red dorm. In his hands was a bowl of peaches, Suzaku had stolen them from the kitchens, it wasn't as good as fruit salad but it was still fruit and he knew Enki liked peaches.

He arrived at Enki's room and knocked not knowing if the kirin would even be in. He just hoped he wasn't with Shoryu, because Suzaku did not want to see Shoryu at all.

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Enki was in and blinked up at Suzaku after opening the door. He registered the peaches briefly (oh, a snack!), and then tilted his head back up, an eyebrow climbing up on his forehead as he moved away to let Suzaku get in.

"Didn't find an umbrella?" Enki asked as he jumped up to sit... not on his bed, but the bedside table, his gaze flicking to the bowl of peaches. "Sit if you want to," Enki nodded at the bed, and wondered what Suzaku wanted.

He had noticed Suzaku had avoided Shōryū, which, by extension, meant avoiding Enki. He didn't mind, though, but he hoped Suzaku still didn't hold a grudge.

Suzaku gave a small smile, awkward but not angry at all. Because Enki wasn't the one he was angry at. He shrugged at the mention of the umberella, he hadn't bothered, he had been outside most the day anyways and the rain didn't bother him that much. He sat quietly and didn't say anything for a while.

After a few moments though he passed the bowl of fruit over to Enki, "I'm sorry I ruined your fruit salad the other day."

"Hey, don't worry 'bout it. Made a new one after..." Enki trailed off and smiled briefly, though it felt awkward. That didn't mean he didn't eagerly take the bowl of peaches, because while he certainly wasn't hungry enough to eat them all now, he'd just keep it around.

"He did look funny..." Enki mumbled, mostly to himself, not really aware of the small, mischiveous smile on his face as he thought back on Shōryū with pieces of fruit scattered all over and around him.

Suzaku managed a small smile glad that Enki wasn't angry at him. Even though he wouldn't of been surprised if he had been, he gave another small smile because Enki was right Shōryū had looked amusing, though Suzaku had been too angry to notice at the time.

"I guess he did." Suzaku didn't quite laugh but he wasn't angry either.

Enki vaguely felt unhappy about thinking back on that, and he wasn't sure why, exactly. Well, he knew why; the whole thing was kind of scrambled.

He remembered perfectly who had said what, but certain details (like who Suzaku had kicked, and why Enki'd been so displeased) switched around each time he thought back, and the memory frequently got interrupted by the blank fuzz of the Utopia-induced memory-loss as he briefly realized whatever it was he'd - wait, that was ri--- and then gone again - forgotten, so Enki prefered to not think on it too much.

"Suzaku, if you actually want to have some sort of discussion 'bout that, it ain't any good right now, because it's connected to one of my lost memories," Enki said with a sigh and rolled his eyes. He'd even had to go so far as to just think of it as 'one of his lost memories' instead of figuring out which memory it was, because that lead to remembering and then un-remembering and the whole thing was just annoying.

"Anything else, though, shoot," Enki shrugged and grinned, choosing one of the peaches and surprisingly delicatedly taking a bite from it.

Suzaku nodded, "I know," he knew it was almost impossible trying to talk to someone about things that touched on their taken memories and he knew that Enki had forgotten that Shoryu was his king, which made most conversations confusing.

Anyways Suzaku didn't want to talk about what had happened, he felt bad about upsetting Enki but he had apologised now and it should be over. Still he wasn't keen on going straight back out, especially because of the rain, there was nothing to do anyways. It was free time, no lessons, he could train but he had been training most the morning.

They sat in silence for a while but then Suzaku remembered something he had been meaning to ask Enki since Shoryu and Lelouch had met, there had just never been a good time.

"Enki, what did you mean last week, when you said you were stuck in your human form?"

Because Suzaku was confused, and he just hoped Enki wouldn't be offended.

Suzaku needen't have worried. Enki looked back at Suzaku from where he'd been staring out the window, a faint smirk on his face.

"While this shape's as 'real' as my actual one, my human guise ain't what I am." Enki shrugged and jumped off the bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling out a notebook and a pencil, then jumped back up and started sketching.

"Kirin are beasts, Suzaku. Holy animals, but animals. We just happen to have full minds of our own an' human shapes to go with that. Probably so we're taken more seriously while advising our Kings," Enki explained as he sketched, and finally handed over the notebook to Suzaku.

The animal on the page reminded of something between a horse and a deer, but, despite being only on paper, graceful beyond any possible creature, existant and not. From its forehead rose a single horn.

"Can't show you colour, but the mane and tail are various shades of gold, and the pelt is variously lion-shaded."

Suzaku waited quietly watching as Enki grabbed pencils and a notebook and started drawing. He watched curiously and listened his eyebrow raising as Enki explained that Kirin were not human at all. Suzaku looked at the picture and his eyebrows rose more. This was Enki? Enki was... well Suzaku couldn't quite work out exactly what creature Enki had drawn, a horse, or a dear and nothing Suzaku had ever seen before.

The horn rising from the forhead of the creature told Suzaku that this creature did not exist in his world. He frowned for he did not know the word for a creature similar to this in English, it was not something he had ever learnt and not being able to remember Japanese he had no word to explain it, apart from the one Enki had said; Kirin, that meant little to Suzaku.

He blinked again, and looked at Enki. He could not imagine him as this creature, and how, how could a human turn into an animal or an animal into a human or a being be both at once. He sat in stunned silence for a moment.

It may have been rude to laugh, but Enki couldn't hide the chuckles that slipped out, but the swallowed the rest.

"Don't think on it too much. I'd show you if I could, but this place..." Enki trailed off with a sullen grimace. It was hard not to feel off; sure, he didn't change an extreme amount, but he did like to take a jaunt over En, riding the winds in his own skin and not riding Rikaku at least once a week.

They'd been here two weeks, and sometimes Enki felt like there was sand skittering off his muscles beneath his skin, frustration like a live current. He could understand (in a way of speaking) taking his shirei, but why lock him in his human form? Why deprive him of his ability to switch between what really was his actual shape and his human one?

Suzaku felt embarased when Enki started to laugh at him but he guessed that his face was probably quite amusing, still his mind was still spinning with the idea that Enki wasn't actually human. Or that there were such people who were both human and animal at all.

This place what? Had it made him forget how to transform into his creature self? That was cruel but Suzaku had no illusions to how cruel this place was.

"They stoop so low in the things they take from us." He said quietly.

Enki shrugged and grunted, leaning forward to dangle his hands between his thighs.

"I just don't get it. There's no reason to keep me from changing. I could... kinda... accept being stripped of the ability to fly, but why keep me from switching?" Enki scowled and shook his head, hands briefly fisting and then relaxing again.

Ability to fly? Enki could fly? Suzaku's eyebrows shot up again. But he concentrated on what Enki was saying and felt anger again at their kidnappers. There was no reason, Suzaku wondered again what on earth was so important they had to kidnap people and make them fight.

Or was it just for their own amusement. Suzaku scowled, "Of course there's no reason," he shook his head angrily and stood up going over to the window to look out at the rain. "There's no reason for any of this, no reason to keep us here, no reason to make us fight." He shook his head again.

Enki just scowled and crossed his arms and grunted, displeased.

"'Course there ain't. Still don't see why they had to take my changing from me. And all these kids," Enki snarled and supressed a shiver. That was just... Children. Why would they make children fight?

Suzaku sighed, he didn't see why they had to take Enki's animal form off him, not to mention he couldn't work out how they would do such a thing, unless it was one of his locked memories which would make sense.

Suzaku frowned, the conversation seemed to make Enki upset and angry and remembering his angry words about violence Suzaku could easily guess why. He shook his head, "I don't think they care."

Because when did those in power care about anyone. Suzaku sighed and shrugged again.

"Obviously," Enki said sullenly and then suddenly sighed and shook his head.

"Never mind that, now. Thanks for the fruit, Suzaku," he said and managed to scrape together enough cheer to give Suzaku a (admittedly kind of faint) lop-sided smile. Then Enki pointed at the wall beside the door out, where several (more than enough considering there were only two people in this room at the moment, though Enki hadn't seen too much of the woman) umbrellas were leaning against the wall.

"When you want to go back, take one of those. No need to get wetter!"

Suzaku managed to give a small smile back, he felt a sense of hopelessness when it came to those who had kidnapped them and the fact that they were stuck here with no idea how to even begin trying to escape.

Of course Suzaku had lived with quite a lot of helplessness since he was ten and Britannia had invaded, but this was different. Then he could try and make things better, then he could at least attempt to change things even when things went wrong.

Here they didn't even know who the aggressors were. It was a different type of helplessness.

But Enki was trying to be positive and so Suzaku tried as well, "Don't worry, I am sure we will find some way of escaping," he didn't sound too sure of that himself, "meanwhile we can try and get enough tokens to win back your memory of how to change." That he was sure he could manage, even though he didn't have a player for this round and so had no way of gaining tokens.

Enki grimaced and shook his head, pulling his feet up until he could grab the ankles.

"It ain't a lost memory, Suzaku. I know perfectly well how to change... It's easy. Like breathin'. But it ain't working right now. Nothing... happens," Enki shrugged, frowning fiercly down at the floor.

Of course, maybe it was a taken memory, but he couldn't see how it could be; the others that he knew of had a certain... quality? to them. Take the peaches, for example. He could picture a peach perfectly well, it's scent and texture and whatall, but the taste? Not there? A noticeable hole in the 'perfect picture'.

And changing? Well, it wasn't as if there was something particular about it. He could remember any million of times that he'd changed, slipping from one form to another with nothing more than half a thought, between one breath and the next.

There just wasn't anything to forget, and even if there was, any of those memories ought to feel fuzzy somehow, he thought. Off. But they didn't.

Suzaku frowned, not a lost memory just something that was usually natural to Enki that was now gone. Suzaku frowned, that sounded too farmilliar. He remembered back the other day, in the height of the storm when they had tried to escape.

Lelouch had told him that he had tried to use Geass on Gino, who as far as any of them could remember had it used on him before and it had not worked.

The two might not be connected, they hadn't worked out if it was just Gino or if Lelouch's Geass had stopped working altogether.

Suzaku frowned again, he really didn't know but it seemed like too much of a coincidence to not be connected, and who knew. Those that had taken them had enough power to take away memories they might be able to take other things as well.

Suzaku had never heard of a Geass to take away anothers Geass but in this world... He would have to talk to Lelouch about it.

"Do you know anyway in your world that you could be stopped from changing?"

"Yeah." Instantly, Enki seemed to somehow get smaller, shorter. He hadn't exactly hunched up or anything, but the mere thought of the only thing that he knew could bind a kirin's powers seemed to diminish him.

Shaking his head, Enki conciously straightened up, grimaced and then scowled. He wasn't in pain from this (except the faint, more imagined anxiety from the inability to change), in fact, if this was a seal like at home, it was both less visible and less cumbersome.

"Either you can seal a kirin's horn when they're in beast shape. They can't speak then, or call their shirei. Or you seal the horn when they're in human shape..." Enki grimaced and couldn't stop the shiver that crawled up his spine.

It was so very long ago, but still... "At home, though, sealing the horn when the kirin's in human guise means using a seal that looks like a small white stone, placed against the forehead where the horn would be. And whatever they've done, and however they did it, they didn't do it like that..." Enki shrugged, staring out the window again.

He really didn't like thinking of that. He'd been so stupid, and people (no matter how few or many) had died because he'd been stupid. With a grunt, he turned back to Suzaku again.

Suzaku frowned and kicked himself when he realised he had just asked about something that was painful, or brought back painful memories. Suzaku was angry at himself, he should have guessed that this could be a difficult subject for the Kirin. It was difficult to tell however, at least back in his own world there were certain subjects where it was obvious would be painful.

But he should have guessed, from Enki's obvious upset that he couldn't change he should have avoided the topic. He didn't say anything though, he didn't want to embarass Enki and so nodded.

So there was a way to stop Enki being able to change, but that was not what had happened here. Suzaku sighed lightly.

Suzaku was suddenly met with a pillow sailing at his face, as Enki had noticed the dip in Suzaku's mood, leaned over in his seat, snagged the pillow, and tossed it.

"Stop that. You couldn't have known," Enki scowled at Suzaku, briefly wondering why he was so quick to blame himself for... a lot of stuff. With a snort and a roll of his eyes, Enki leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest.

The pillow hit Suzaku square in the face, he had made no move to block it or move away, it fell to the floor by his feet. He reached down to pick it up and placed it on the bed next to him.

He wasn't completely sure why Enki had thrown it except that he had managed to annoy the kirin and so he had probably deserved it.

"Sorry," he said quietly and attempted a small apologetic smile though he still felt bad about upsetting Enki.

"Suzaku," Enki groaned and shook his head, extricating his legs from their cramped position to kick them in the air a bit. "Stop that. It's quite impossible for you to know everything, considering we ain't even from the same world." Enki paused and an eyebrow climbed up on his forehead.

"An' I've got 'bout almost five hundred years on you. How're you supposed to know what's happened in that time? Though most of it's been okay." Enki shook his head, exasperated by Suzaku's immediate blame of himself for the turn their conversation had taken and the effect it'd had on himself.

"Why don't you save it for when you have a reason to feel guilty?" Though he hoped that would never happen. At the same time, briefly, Suzaku smelled of blood and rage. Enki blinked, swallowed, and shook his head.

Nothing.

He must have imagined it.

Suzaku blinked, well of course he couldn't know everything but he shouldn't have said antyhing when he wasn't sure if it was going to upset people. He shrugged though because Enki was right, he didn't know anything about Enki and so probably shouldn't have said anything to begin with.

At Enki's last words Suzaku frowned, he felt guilty about a lot of things. Truly guilty, things he had done that were his fault filled his mind. His father's death, failing to protect Euphemia, selling...

His mind filled with fog, dense choaking fog and Suzaku closed his eyes and shook his head viciously thinking about other things, any things that didn't trigger the memory loss.

"I... maybe I should go..."

Something was wrong. But Enki didn't know what, and unlike some people, perhaps, he neither had the personality nor the presence of mind to actually probe in such a way.

"If you want to," Enki nodded, frowning faintly at Suzaku, who now looked disturbed, though there seemed to be no immediate cause for it.

"If you're just going because of earlier, though, you don't have to. I'm fine Suzaku," Enki insisted with a roll of his eyes, giving the teenager a faint smile, hoping this was the correct thing to say and do. He wasn't as bad as Keiki most surely, but he wasn't as sensitive and sweet as some of his other fellow kirin.

Suzaku smiled back, the fog started to ebate from his mind. Still he felt that he had probably outstayed his welcome, he nodded at Enki's insistence that he was fine though.

"Enjoy the peaches." He said with another tiny smile and made his way out of the room, completely forgetting to pick up an umberella.

"Hey---" Oh for... With a sigh, Enki jumped off the bedside table, put the bowl of peaches there and grabbed an umberella. Running out, he caught up to Suzaku at the stairs.

"Don't forget this," Enki said with a snort and roll of his eyes. At other times he may have added 'idiot', but he really didn't know Suzaku well enough for that, he thought.

Suzaku turned round at Enki's voice and saw the umberella in his hands, "Oh, sorry," he remembered that Enki had told him to take on.

He took the umberella and gave another small smile, "Thank you."

"Sure, sure." Despite the tone, there was a faint smile on Enki's face as he waved Suzaku away and walked back to the dorm room, which still didn't feel like any sort of 'home'. It didn't look like it should have, and didn't feel like he was used to...

All just reminding him of the fact that the time was slipping away.

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Peaches and apologies (ATTN Enki) [Day 3]

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