Karkat Vantas - carcinoGeneticist (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
threshprinceoffuckyou) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rakuen2012-02-08 04:12 pm
threshprinceoffuckyou) wrote in rakuen2012-02-08 04:12 pm
Entry tags:
[conquest wide network post][karkat shut up: the sequel]
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened memo BALL GROPING DOUCHEBAG INSTITUTION --
LISTEN UP
THIS SCHOOL HAS CHOSEN ME TO BE ONE OF ITS "PLAYERS" EVEN THOUGH I'VE ONLY JUST ARRIVED
THEREBY SUGGESTING THAT I AM A BILLION TIMES BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU
THAT I AM SMARTER, BETTER LOOKING AND MORE CAPABLE THAN YOU ARE, WHOEVER YOU ARE.
WHICH IS 100% IRREFUTABLE FACT.
HOLY SHIT, I JUST SKIMMED WHAT I JUST WROTE AND WOW I AM A DOUCHEBAG
BUT ENOUGH CHIT CHAT.
THIS IS AN AD FOR A WEAPON, ASSHOLES.
WANTED: A WEAPON
PREFERABLY A SICKLE BECAUSE THAT'S MY SPECIALTY
BUT ANY SHORT-RANGED WEAPON WOULD DO
TERMS AND CONDITIONS
1.) THIS IS NOT A WALK IN THE GODDAMN PARK. I AM NOT BATTLING FOR THE "LOLS" AND THE "FUNSIES", I AM FIGHTING TO *WIN*. I NEED A WEAPON WITH DREAMS AND HALF THE AMBITION I HAVE. TRUST ME, HALF IS ENOUGH.
2.) I NEED SOMEONE WHOSE BALLS WILL NOT SHRIVEL UP WHEN I SCREAM AT THEM. SERIOUSLY, HALF OF YOU NOOKSNIFFERS CRY AT EVERYTHING I SAY. IT GETS ANNOYING AFTER A WHILE. IF I WANTED TO MAKE YOU CRY, I WOULD DELIVER A HEAPING PILE OF TROLLING ON YOUR ASS OR JUST PUNCH YOU SQUARE IN THE FACE. YOU GUYS ARE MAKING THIS WAY TOO DAMN EASY FOR ME.
BENEFITS
1.) YOU WILL BE GRANTED FULL RIGHTS. YOU WILL BE FREE TO FROLIC AND TRIP ANYWHERE YOU WANT TO GO. SERIOUSLY, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU DO AS MY WEAPON, JUST BE THERE WHEN I FIGHT. I'LL TEXT YOU OR SOMETHING.
2.) MY HANDS WILL BE KEPT TO MYSELF, IN CASE ANYBODY'S AFRAID OF MOLESTATION. I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH YOUR GROSS MAMMALIAN JUNK ANYWAY. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SHITHOLE SPECTRUM, I WON'T HURT YOU. I GIVE YOU MY WORD.
3.) I'VE BEEN INFORMED THAT THIS IS A PROBLEM SO FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY, I WON'T CALL YOU NAMES. THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS. THERE WOULD BE NO SCATHING RETORTS OR TRUTHFUL JABS AIMED AT YOUR DIRECTION -- UNLESS YOU FUCK UP OR MAKE IT HARD FOR ME TO DO THIS OR YOUR LAST NAME HAPPENS TO BE STRIDER, THEN THAT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT.
SO SIGN UP WHILE IT'S STILL HOT, FOLKS. SOME THINGS ARE NEGOTIABLE, SOME ARE NOT. NOT SURE? LET'S DISCUSS IT. PREPARE ME A POWERPOINT PRESENTATION.
P.S. IF YOU'RE GOING TO REPLY TO THIS WITH SOMETHING STUPID LIKE OOH MR. KARKAT PLEASE WASH YOUR MOUTH WITH SOAP, THEN KINDLY GTFO I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK.
LISTEN UP
THIS SCHOOL HAS CHOSEN ME TO BE ONE OF ITS "PLAYERS" EVEN THOUGH I'VE ONLY JUST ARRIVED
THEREBY SUGGESTING THAT I AM A BILLION TIMES BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU
THAT I AM SMARTER, BETTER LOOKING AND MORE CAPABLE THAN YOU ARE, WHOEVER YOU ARE.
WHICH IS 100% IRREFUTABLE FACT.
HOLY SHIT, I JUST SKIMMED WHAT I JUST WROTE AND WOW I AM A DOUCHEBAG
BUT ENOUGH CHIT CHAT.
THIS IS AN AD FOR A WEAPON, ASSHOLES.
WANTED: A WEAPON
PREFERABLY A SICKLE BECAUSE THAT'S MY SPECIALTY
BUT ANY SHORT-RANGED WEAPON WOULD DO
TERMS AND CONDITIONS
1.) THIS IS NOT A WALK IN THE GODDAMN PARK. I AM NOT BATTLING FOR THE "LOLS" AND THE "FUNSIES", I AM FIGHTING TO *WIN*. I NEED A WEAPON WITH DREAMS AND HALF THE AMBITION I HAVE. TRUST ME, HALF IS ENOUGH.
2.) I NEED SOMEONE WHOSE BALLS WILL NOT SHRIVEL UP WHEN I SCREAM AT THEM. SERIOUSLY, HALF OF YOU NOOKSNIFFERS CRY AT EVERYTHING I SAY. IT GETS ANNOYING AFTER A WHILE. IF I WANTED TO MAKE YOU CRY, I WOULD DELIVER A HEAPING PILE OF TROLLING ON YOUR ASS OR JUST PUNCH YOU SQUARE IN THE FACE. YOU GUYS ARE MAKING THIS WAY TOO DAMN EASY FOR ME.
BENEFITS
1.) YOU WILL BE GRANTED FULL RIGHTS. YOU WILL BE FREE TO FROLIC AND TRIP ANYWHERE YOU WANT TO GO. SERIOUSLY, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU DO AS MY WEAPON, JUST BE THERE WHEN I FIGHT. I'LL TEXT YOU OR SOMETHING.
2.) MY HANDS WILL BE KEPT TO MYSELF, IN CASE ANYBODY'S AFRAID OF MOLESTATION. I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH YOUR GROSS MAMMALIAN JUNK ANYWAY. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SHITHOLE SPECTRUM, I WON'T HURT YOU. I GIVE YOU MY WORD.
3.) I'VE BEEN INFORMED THAT THIS IS A PROBLEM SO FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY, I WON'T CALL YOU NAMES. THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS. THERE WOULD BE NO SCATHING RETORTS OR TRUTHFUL JABS AIMED AT YOUR DIRECTION -- UNLESS YOU FUCK UP OR MAKE IT HARD FOR ME TO DO THIS OR YOUR LAST NAME HAPPENS TO BE STRIDER, THEN THAT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT.
SO SIGN UP WHILE IT'S STILL HOT, FOLKS. SOME THINGS ARE NEGOTIABLE, SOME ARE NOT. NOT SURE? LET'S DISCUSS IT. PREPARE ME A POWERPOINT PRESENTATION.
P.S. IF YOU'RE GOING TO REPLY TO THIS WITH SOMETHING STUPID LIKE OOH MR. KARKAT PLEASE WASH YOUR MOUTH WITH SOAP, THEN KINDLY GTFO I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK.
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NOBODY SHOULD LEARN THAT.
BECAUSE THAT IS FUCKING DISGUSTING.
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