the most wonderful class of the year

[themidwife]

Characters: The Midwife... and YOU. (If you're a Fortitude student. Or if you sneak in I guess WHO KNOWS.)
Format: Action. Please, god.
This log is: open.
Location: In his classroom.
Summary: Day X of Sex Ed with Professor Midwife.
Warnings: Language and lots of screaming while talking about reproductive processes.

[ For once, Professor Midwife isn't sitting at the front desk before class. No questions can be fielded; there will be no assistance regarding romantic entanglements of any quadrant or general life lessons regarding survival. In fact, judging from his track record the first week, it's a safe guess that he might not be coming at all- ]

-uuuuuuuckiiiiiiiiing-

[ -OH WHOOPS THAT DOOR SURE DID JUST SLAM THE FUCK OPEN. The skinny troll stomps in almost sluggishly, a cup of some coffee-like sludge cradled in his hands, delicately sets down his drink, and collapses into his chair. For a moment, there is blissful silence from the candyblood's mouth - he just sits there, sipping at his beverage and massaging his temples.

And then the clock ticks one last time, the bell rings, and he surges upward, belting with a voice that should not come out of a body that size: ]

ALRIGHT, YOU MANGY LITTLE SLURRYSLURPERS. CLASS IS IN SESSION.

[ He points to a student, chosen at random. ]

YOU. Where the fuck did this class get to yesterday?

[ midwife maybe not having a lesson plan of any sort makes keeping track of these things difficult
maybe you should actually get your shit together
how about that midwife

yeah it was worth a try at least ]

Comments

[kissmyglass]

[...Well.

Kanako flashes him a smile and speaks in her usual sickeningly sweet manner.]

Ah, why does it matter where we got yesterday? You could just start on something new today if you don't remember.

[themidwife]

It matters because if there's not even a fucking semblance of flow, then there might as well not even be a narrative! Do you know what schoolfeeding is without some steady, proper flow of information? It's just heaving in front of a classroom until enough useless word-regurgitate has poured forth from the teacher's horrible, terrible, no good, nausea-inducing excuse for a thinkpan that all the students can understand the hints of words and lettering poking out from underneath THE SHAME.

[ He turns around, grabbing a piece of chalk and writing on the board.

CONCUPISCENT VS. CONCILIATORY. ]

We've at least gone over this in this period, right? Please, please tell me that I'm not so horribly incompetent as to have somehow missed detailing the most pitiably obvious distinction in romance possible. No, of course I am. What was I even thinking?

[ He deflates, turning to point at the lime-haired girl and ask a question. ]

You're a human, right? Alright, good, let's start it out this way. What do you think the difference is between these two?

[kissmyglass]

...I don't think you're horrible, terrible, no good, or nausea-inducing. [Another smile.

Then her voice takes a flirty turn.]

...I'm really not sure what those words mean, but I am sure that you'd do an excellent job of teaching me. Hmmm, but I wonder how hands-on your approach is?