the most wonderful class of the year

[themidwife]

Characters: The Midwife... and YOU. (If you're a Fortitude student. Or if you sneak in I guess WHO KNOWS.)
Format: Action. Please, god.
This log is: open.
Location: In his classroom.
Summary: Day X of Sex Ed with Professor Midwife.
Warnings: Language and lots of screaming while talking about reproductive processes.

[ For once, Professor Midwife isn't sitting at the front desk before class. No questions can be fielded; there will be no assistance regarding romantic entanglements of any quadrant or general life lessons regarding survival. In fact, judging from his track record the first week, it's a safe guess that he might not be coming at all- ]

-uuuuuuuckiiiiiiiiing-

[ -OH WHOOPS THAT DOOR SURE DID JUST SLAM THE FUCK OPEN. The skinny troll stomps in almost sluggishly, a cup of some coffee-like sludge cradled in his hands, delicately sets down his drink, and collapses into his chair. For a moment, there is blissful silence from the candyblood's mouth - he just sits there, sipping at his beverage and massaging his temples.

And then the clock ticks one last time, the bell rings, and he surges upward, belting with a voice that should not come out of a body that size: ]

ALRIGHT, YOU MANGY LITTLE SLURRYSLURPERS. CLASS IS IN SESSION.

[ He points to a student, chosen at random. ]

YOU. Where the fuck did this class get to yesterday?

[ midwife maybe not having a lesson plan of any sort makes keeping track of these things difficult
maybe you should actually get your shit together
how about that midwife

yeah it was worth a try at least ]

Comments

[pencilpremonition]

Wha~at? Fastest way to learn is by doing, second fastest is by watching.

[savedbyasong]

[He is just staring at her, blushing even harder.]

[pencilpremonition]

[Now Becca is just trolling. She grab's Shion's hand and brings it to her lips, gently kissing his knuckles and starting to kiss up his wrist.]

[savedbyasong]

[Yeah he is moving. Sliding across a seat or two and staring at his notebook.]

[themidwife]

[ As the scene unfolds, Professor Midwife takes action. And by that I mean he stands where he is, points an accusing finger, and tells them to stop.

Repeatedly. ]

Stop. Stop that. Stop that right this instant. I can see you, you- stop it already, or so help me any mindless fairytale deity that might happen to be listening, I will break out the time-out chair.

[ ...they stop. Huh. Good thing that's a trump card in any world. After all, it's not like they could have naturally stopped what they were doing. He also takes keen note of just how the two of them are interacting. A mutual antagonism? No, it's far too flushed for that. He turns around, writing on the board:

REDROM (THE PITYING SIDE)

(NOT A PORNO) ]

Alright. [ He spins around, pointing the chalk menacingly at Shion. ] You. What is it that defines a red romance?

[pencilpremonition]

[Becca whines when Shion pulls away, and she gathers her things so she can scoot over a few seats and remain next to him. She pointedly does not try to molest him again. She looks up at their teacher and blushes vividly when she realises they're being called out for their actions, though she can't help an amused chuckle when Shion is called on.]

[savedbyasong]

[Why was she following him? He was trying to concentrate on this lesson. Except then he was called out and he blushed harder.

But he knew the answer to this, he had actually been paying attention in class.] Red romance seems to be the closest to what most humans would call romance. Mutual feelings of attraction though you said for trolls this attraction comes mainly from pity where in humans it would come from love.

[See Midwife, someone's been listening.]