the most wonderful class of the year

[themidwife]

Characters: The Midwife... and YOU. (If you're a Fortitude student. Or if you sneak in I guess WHO KNOWS.)
Format: Action. Please, god.
This log is: open.
Location: In his classroom.
Summary: Day X of Sex Ed with Professor Midwife.
Warnings: Language and lots of screaming while talking about reproductive processes.

[ For once, Professor Midwife isn't sitting at the front desk before class. No questions can be fielded; there will be no assistance regarding romantic entanglements of any quadrant or general life lessons regarding survival. In fact, judging from his track record the first week, it's a safe guess that he might not be coming at all- ]

-uuuuuuuckiiiiiiiiing-

[ -OH WHOOPS THAT DOOR SURE DID JUST SLAM THE FUCK OPEN. The skinny troll stomps in almost sluggishly, a cup of some coffee-like sludge cradled in his hands, delicately sets down his drink, and collapses into his chair. For a moment, there is blissful silence from the candyblood's mouth - he just sits there, sipping at his beverage and massaging his temples.

And then the clock ticks one last time, the bell rings, and he surges upward, belting with a voice that should not come out of a body that size: ]

ALRIGHT, YOU MANGY LITTLE SLURRYSLURPERS. CLASS IS IN SESSION.

[ He points to a student, chosen at random. ]

YOU. Where the fuck did this class get to yesterday?

[ midwife maybe not having a lesson plan of any sort makes keeping track of these things difficult
maybe you should actually get your shit together
how about that midwife

yeah it was worth a try at least ]

Comments

[themidwife]

[ Strider.

The piece of chalk snaps in Karkat's hand. He glares daggers at the teen, scowl contorting further and further as he does. He will not falter. He will not fall. One of them will back down first, and it will not be THIS IS STUPID.

He turns back to the blackboard, bringing a hand up to rub at his forehead. ]

That didn't happen. From now on out, we are starting class again, and the horrible excuse we will refer to as "Past Midwife" can fuck right off into nonexistence. I will kick him into orbit myself.

[ With the half of chalk left in his hand, he begins to scrawl (in passable English lettering) onto the board:

RED VS. BLACK ]

Alright. Whoever understands the distinction between these two - as applied to romantic entanglements - raise your hand.

[knightime]

[Hahaha, Dave smirks. Look at you, a grown troll and losing it because he's in your class. This must be why he's in your class. To potentially annoy you just with his presence.

He stares at the board.

He stares back at Karkat.

This is the face of someone who knows jackshit what it means and ran out of fucks to give about it.

Sup. Enlighten him. Do it.]