rakuen | Translation Error!

Entry tags:

Translation Error!

Characters: Cirno and whoever decides to try and understand her
Format:Any!
This log is: OPEN
Location: Lakeside
Summary: Cirno is going to find out what just happened

Cirno was just stareing at her PDA. She had come over to the lake as usual to think over the past round. It was her usual spot if she didn't have anything to do and the waters let her mind wander a bit more then she would usualy. That message had her confused as did the sender.

The system is undergoing maintenance. Please pardon any difficulties in the near future. - Kotaro

As she was stareing, That's when the penalty hit and she went down on the ground to curl up in a ball. She felt that at least this way, no one could see that this hurt her, even if she was alone. She kept that way for a while, at least ten minutes past the ending of it, nto sure if that was it or not.

As she sat up once more and reached for the blank PDA she spoke to herself mostly, "Tame ni sono nandatta no... ? Dareka ga futatabi orokana nanika o shinakatta..." 1

She looked about and frowned, "To watashi wa densha no naka de kare o mimasendeshita. ... Shin Kotaro ga modotte teniireta... Nani ga okotte iru nodeshou ka?"2

She's going to be there a while trying to figure out what is going on...

((OOC- She speaks in Japanese but unless you know her well, her accent or just how she says things makes no sense. GOOD LUCK!
Translations!
1- What was that for...? Did somebody do something stupid again...
2- And when did Kotaro get back....I didn't see him on the train...What's going on?))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Cirno stood there for a moment longer and looked up. A few tears were running down her cheeks as she spoke softly, "Gomen'nasai..." And with that, she took off, flying as fast as she could away. Everything was just too much for her and she needed to hide the fact that she was crying.

((I'm sorry..- And with that, I'll bow out for now unless you both want to go find her))

Edited 2012-08-19 20:47 (UTC)

She was right. That had gone badly.

Yuka shot Shion an apologetic look before running after the fairy. "Cirno, wait!"

She didn't go too far, Stopping at the tree line and trying to hide in the brush. She just curled back up into a ball and let loose with her tears. She wasn't expecting to be followed or anything so she didn't even btoher to try and keep quiet.

At this rate, this place was going to give her a complex about trusting people if they remembered things.

Yuka had slowed down a bit once she realized Cirno wasn't going to stop. She'd seen enough to have a pretty good idea where the fairy was going - the forest.

Unfortunately, Yuka didn't have a convenient ability to ask the plants if they'd seen someone go by. Cirno could probably get lost in there for as long as she wanted to... but Yuka felt like she had to try.

It seemed like Yuka was getting a bit of good luck to balance out the earlier bad, as it wasn't long before she noticed a branch that looked like it could have been knocked loose by a rapidly-flying fairy. And she thought she heard something coming from nearby...

"Cirno?" she called quietly.

She heard Yuka alright and just about took off again but she didn't. She slowly pulled herself from the ball she was in and sat up, rustling the leaves around her. Still crying she looked about, trying to spot where she had heard Yuka from.

"Yuka...Is that you...?" Her voice was soft and still had the sound of her crying through it. She wasn't moving from her spot, If Yuka found her, fine..if not oh well.

Yuka sat down next to Cirno, but facing away from her.

"I think I understand a little..." she said softly. "I was surprised enough to see you at all, that day on the platform. And it hurt when I realized Cirno didn't recognize me. But..." She paused for a moment, wiping her eyes. "But Cirno and I were still able to be friends in spite of that."

Now Yuka turned to look directly at the fairy, her voice starting to sound almost desperate. "So Cirno and Shion should be able to become friends again... shouldn't they?"

Cirno didn't respond right away, wiping at her eyes and trying to get calmed down to a point where she wouldn't continue crying. What Yuka was saying made sense...but it hurt. It hurt her that someone who had given her something that she treasured deeply had forgotten everything it seemed.

Then she looked to Yuka and considered what she was saying. It was true she didn't remember her at all except for things here. Her face showed the realization as she thought on it. She slumped a bit, feeling like a idiot for sure. She put a hand on Yuka's arm, wanting nothing more then to really remember her, and not just from here.

"...I'm sorry...I guess I'm actin' like a little kid and a idiot huh?"

Yuka reached over with her other arm and patted Cirno's hand, seeming a little calmer now.

"That's not an easy question." She smiled a bit. "Being upset about something like this... you'd be an idiot if you weren't."

"But... a lot of times it feels like you're trying to hide it whenever you're sad or hurt. I guess you don't want people to worry about you... And it does hurt when the people I care about feel like that."

"Running off like this though, or when you seem to be hiding something... that hurts even more. I don't want to be your friend only when you're smiling. Even if all I can do is be a sympathetic presence, I want to be there to help."

"I don't know if that's being like a kid or an idiot, but... I wish you'd let me get closer. There are probably other people who feel that way too."

Cirno looked to the ground as she collected her thoughts on everything. For a moment, she slumped down a bit more. This whole situation was making her start to piece things together..and actually deal with them then trying to hide from them. She dropped her hands to her lap and kept her eyes trained on them, unsure if she wanted to see the reaction to what she was about to say. She kept her face blank for now, just wanting to get through what she wanted to say and there was a lot.

"I don't wanna hurt you are anyone else Yuka...I guess I should explain a bit. A lot of it is kinda from inflicting that penalty...I hurt a lot of people that day because I was forced to..."

She had been thinking about that for a while now, remembering her discussions with others about it. All that pain in everyone's faces..she would never forget that and wanted to prevent seeing any pain from her friends, even if that meant bottling it up until she was able to be by herself and let it out. Seems like that plan backfired on her this time.

"The next day I had to gather the new students from the train. One got mad at me for her being here and was ready to punch me. I left as soon as I was able to and came here, trying to avoid everyone, especially any of the staff or Prefects....I'm not that good at it I guess because I was found by a few people. I talked with them about it a bit...Becca told me it was a Mental Torture."

She shakes her head a bit before sitting up a bit more, still not looking up, although a sad expression crossed her face finally.

"She said that I have scars that can't be seen but they were there. Then more people vanished, Kotaro being one of them. He was my best friend here..He didn't care if I lost him in battle or we lost because I didn't activate a ability in time..."

She just trailed off after that, she was losing focus on what she was talking about and was starting to ramble a bit. Although at least she was letting some of what she had been keeping quiet about out.

"There have been so many things..." Yuka mused.

It was strange... at times, this place reminded her so much of home. But other times... well. Life in Gensokyo was often violent, and Yuka was comfortable with that, for in large part she was a creature of violence. (Although an outside observer might have argued the point, confusing hostility with violence.) But it was rarely cruel.

Here, it seemed that cruelty was always standing by, to be dispensed at whim. Or was it? Malice wasn't a requirement to do harm.

She didn't know enough. Perhaps in time she'd learn. But more likely, she'd just muddle through on instinct. She was trying to uphold the best traditions of home, wasn't she?

"... That's what you were talking about before, wasn't it? The thing that happens when someone goes below zero raks." (Having a negative amount of a physical object struck Yuka as a pretty strange idea, but she thought she'd grasped the practical point.)

Cirno just nodded a bit, sighing deeply. "Yes..Until the person gets at least to zero someone gets hit with a major penalty every hour on the hour....It lasted a long time...8 people got hit. And we can't just say who it is or give them raks." She would have stopped it early if she could have.

She takes one bare foot into her hand, trying to keep her focus on something. She just didn't want to look up just yet. "A lot has happened and some of it just starts to show up again...Every time I try to make friends or be somewhat happy...I get knocked back down. So instead, I just let everyone else be happy and think I'm okay...I even sold a memory that made me sad to try and help with that."

She shrugs a bit. She had built up walls around her without knowing it and now that she was faced with them, she didn't know what to do. Cirno sighs a bit and mumbles softly, "I'm just worried that...I'll get close and this place will tear whatever that is away...I wanna believe that it won't happen..."

And she's come full circle it seems. Back to her original problem that she had said in the very beginning.

"That's something everyone wants, I think, to not be hurt... But I don't think we can cut ourselves off and live. I nearly..." Yuka stopped and shook her head. That was something better left in the past.

"Maybe that shrine maiden would have some kind of answer. (Isn't that kind of thing supposed to be part of the job?) But I think not taking that risk is worse. Even through hurt and loss, if we keep scraping together what good we can, maybe it will become something great in the end..."

Cirno nods slowly, She understood but at the same time, she was clinging to what she had been doing. Habits were hard to break, especially when they were done without a second thought anymore. She let go of her foot and clenched both of her fists tightly.

"I'm tired of crying...Tired of not being able to say Goodbye and not knowing if I'll ever see them again. This place does not play fair...and I do not like what it's done. I wanna trust and not worry. I wanna be able to make friends like normal." She tenses for a second and brings her fist down on her leg near her knee in frustration. She winces a bit at the pain but keeps going."

"I'm tired of being like this. I..I..I just don't know how to fix it.

Edited 2012-08-23 07:44 (UTC)

Yuka shifted a bit so she could give Cirno a hug. "There's no secret to it, I think. We just keep trying. Some days are better than others, but if you keep trying... eventually it gets better."

Cirno relaxed in the hug and hugged back. She was feeling a bit better, actually coming out and saying what she felt and it showed.

"I'll try...I really will. I promise."

A slow smile crosses her face as she speaks again, "This place brought me down..but I wanna come back fighting. Show them they can't bring me down again!"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Translation Error!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject