[PDA] Seventh Beat in Text

[knightime]

right
so that asl stuff
i talked about
like last week
meeting up at the park
in town
wednesday
so you know
you cool kids from conquest can chill
and get your sign on
itll be afterschool
so no one tries to repent for missing class or something
itll be
shit
fuck why do i always forget their names?!
...
itll be my best bro and myself
well bring books too
and i guess start with the basics and shit
no biggie


[Private to Vriska]
four days is a pretty fucking long time
aint it
im like
gagging as i type this
vomiting
all sorts of gross things
but
when did you want your next lesson???
if you so much give me sass right now
i will let you beg him to teach you instead
or let you learn on your own
also
i should probably give you the heads up
my sis
is not happy
and before you call me an ass for squealing
she practically beat it out of me
which is pretty counter productive
but whatever
so yeah
this might be me trying to make up
for whatever the fuck she decides to do

Comments

i'm so sorry

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

SINCE WHEN WERE THE TWO OF YOU SUCKING FACE????

AND THEN EVERYONE THREADJACKED

[knightime]

since now
were married
didnt you know???

john and dave are married!!!!!!!

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

"MARRIED".
ALL THESE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, ALL OF THEM STUPID.
WHAT THE FUCK IS A MARRIED

MARRIED MARRIED MARRIED

[knightime]

shit
why cant you just look this crap up yourself???
its when two people decide
they want to have hot sloppy makeouts
for the rest of their lives
except no one else can get in the way
because those two married sods are basically madly in love with each other
at least
thats what you usually wish married was

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

THIS IS AN INTERESTING CONCEPT
BUT STILL BULLSHIT.
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MARRY HARLEY
THOUGH I GUESS NOW THAT YOUR RACE ISN'T COUNTING ON THE FOUR OF YOU FOR GENETIC VARIETY (GOD HELP US ALL), YOUR HEDONISTIC, SODOMIZING RELATIONSHIP WITH EGBERT CAN PROCEED

[knightime]

way to
reject our culture
im offended
marriage is an important thing you know
especially for a girl like john
wait his last name is egbert
ok
thank you
i can now have sloppy makeouts with him in peace
and you guys dont have your shitty timelines to actually watch us make out
actual privacy

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

JOHN DOES NOT HAVE A FUCKING UTERUS.
AND WHAT A GREAT LOSS FOR OUR CULTURE
WE CAN'T SEE TWO SKINNY EARTH NERDS MAKE OUT!!
HOW WILL OUR CIVILIZATION PROCEED???
GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU
EVERY TIME YOU TALK I JUST WANT TO RIP OUT YOUR LIPS AND MOUNT THEM ON MY FIREPLACE.

[knightime]

holy shit
can you not read sarcasm or something???
i know john has a fucking dick
actually
no i dont know if he does or not
brb let me ask him to drop his pants
so i can confirm this
and get back to you about it

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

TM FUCKING I.
GO DO YOUR EARTH REPRODUCTIVE NASTY ELSEWHERE. (EX. A ROOM.)

I saw that man

[knightime]

hey
youre the one yelling
that john has no uterus
what if he did
wouldnt you hate yourself for not knowing???

Oh, John, you adorable, clueless boy...

[wakingsavior]

jeeeeeeeez, karkat, we're just joking around!
i'm not into guys!

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THESE EARTH JOKES OF YOURS
DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU WEREN'T HITTING ON STRIDER WHEN YOU CLEARLY WERE???
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT AN EARTH HOMOSEXUAL BUT YOU WERE SO TRANSPARENT RIGHT THERE.

WHICH IS BULLSHIT BTW
DIDN'T I TELL YOU YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO REPRODUCE WITH ROSE

[wakingsavior]

it's ironic!
jegus, it's not legit flirting or anything.
it's just something people do.
human people, anyway.

and rose isn't here anyway, so no dice!

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

YOU ARE GOING TO LEAD HIM ON AND BREAK HIS DOUCHEBAG HEART, JOHN.

SO YOU'RE MACKING ON HER BROTHER INSTEAD
WOW, JOHN.
WOW.

Karkat can feel free to shove this in John's face when the inevitable hammertime occurs.

[wakingsavior]

what? no!
we're just friends.
frieeeeeeeends.
no sloppy makeouts.
no makeouts of any kind.
okay?

oh he will. he. will.

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

OK, REMEMBER THOSE WORDS WHEN THE TWO OF YOU FINALLY STOP IT WITH THE "WILL THEY OR WON'T THEY" HOOFBEAST FECAL MATTER.

mwahahah

[wakingsavior]

uuuuuuuugh i almost remember now why i blocked you so many times.
you're ridiculous, karkat.
seriously.

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

DO NOT QUESTION MY INFINITE WISDOM, JOHN.
I HAVE SEEN A GREAT MANY THINGS AND PATCHED A GREAT MANY ROMANCES.
THE SMART THING TO DO WOULD BE TO LISTEN TO ME.

[knightime]

too late
i told him were married
so were married now

[wakingsavior]

oh man.
i didn't get my frilly white dress or anything.
you owe me, strider.
you owe me the white wedding i deserve.

[knightime]

our cake
will be from
wait for it
...
betty crocker

[wakingsavior]

...
i hate you right now.
stupid fucking batterwitch.

[knightime]

youre breaking my heart
into a million pieces
how could you say you hate me???
my self esteem is so very fragile
im crying myself to death
all the bad heartbroken poetry
etc

[wakingsavior]

[ And because they are hard to separate, apparently, John wheeze-laughs quietly and sticks out a leg to kick Dave lightly. ]

you keep saying i'm a girl, but you're the one being all
"it's my party and i'll cry if i want to".

:P

[knightime]

thats because
youre the one sitting on my bed
and
its what happens on this bed
which decides who has the pants
little strider
pleases all the ladies after all
ow
btw