Suzaku Kururugi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
swordofzero) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rakuen2012-02-19 04:13 pm
swordofzero) wrote in rakuen2012-02-19 04:13 pm
Entry tags:
Remembering [open]
Characters: Suzaku and anyone who dares approach[Friday] Suzaku held the small bag containing the memory, he had used the money that had been left on his bed to buy it, or Lelouch had bought it as Suzaku couldn't. He had guessed the money had come from Fortitude's headmistress and she was hoping he would remember Zero's identity. Since the last memory he had regained, as his present off Feferi had been something so small he hadn't even realised he had forgotten it he was curious about what this one may contain. He looked to Lelouch to see if he wanted to go anywhere before activating it.
Format: I'm starting in prose, but will follow you
This log is: Open (the first part is closed to Lelouch, the rest is open to anyone and everyone)
Location: Out side the shop and then near the woods/drifting round town. The part with Lelouch is Friday afternoon and the rest is Saturday
Summary: Suzaku gets a memory back, it's not a good one.
Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, killing, weapons of mass destruction, self hating thoughts, more angst, also spoilers for code geass R2 ep18.
[Saturday] Suzaku's roommates will have noticed that Suzaku did not return on Friday evening, nor was he anywhere to be seen on Saturday morning. However nearing lunch time of Saturday he can be spotted leaving the woods. It doesn't look like he has slept, his clothes are damp from the snow slush that still persists on falling. If you get close enough you will see his knuckles are bruised and bleeding.
He wanders listlessly around town. His thoughts are still jumbled and unsure. The memory itself is blury, as if there is something missing. He can remember fighting, he can remember looking down on the crater that once had been the Tokyo settlement, but in between; nothing.
But there was no doubt it was him who had done that, who had killed all those people. He hadn't wanted to, thought he could carry the weapon and not launch it. Yet he had, he had and over thirty million people had died.
Died at his hand, he who claimed to dislike unnecessary violence, who wished to change things from the inside. He had caused so much death, so much suffering.
He ended up on the jetty staring out onto the water. All he had wanted since he was nine years old was to atone for his sins, to be given the death he deserved for the evils he had done. Yet... all he had done was caused more evil, more suffering...
[Does anyone dare to disturb him?]
no subject
It wasn't exactly something he could have done by accident. He blinked at Britannia, remembering their earlier conversation and that there was much she didn't know, since like Lelouch she seemed to come from an earlier time than Suzaku.
"Do... do you know what FLEIJA is?"
no subject
"No, I don't. Is it one of his majesty's new divisions?" She asked after a moment, her smile never faltering. The fact that Charles would keep secrets from her wasn't a surprise when that was practically the norm. Oh, he'd answer honestly if she asked, but the problem was she never knew what to ask. How could she when the man was constantly doing things without giving her so much as a hint as to what those activities were?
Then again, he also wasn't the first emperor to act this way either, though that was probably just genetics. Ricardo had been very much the same, after all.
no subject
"It's a weapon, one capable of wiping out millions of lives in a moment." He shook as he spoke, he felt ill. He clenched his fists.