Karkat Vantas - carcinoGeneticist (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
threshprinceoffuckyou) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rakuen2012-02-29 02:52 pm
threshprinceoffuckyou) wrote in rakuen2012-02-29 02:52 pm
Entry tags:
[city-wide network post][karkat shut up: bonus content][hi did you guys miss me]
NOW THAT I'VE FINISHED THIS EGREGIOUS PILE OF PAPERS KNOWN AS MY HOMEWORK, LET ME PROVIDE A DETAILED ANALYSIS OF WHY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY CLASSES ARE STUPID.
AND BY EXTENSION, BY DEFAULT, ALL OF YOU.
ASTRONOMY - STARS? WE'RE STUDYING STARS. WHOOP-DE-FUCKING-DOO, DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING HERE. THIS CLASS DOESN'T DESERVE MY RAGE. IT DOESN'T DESERVE ANYTHING -- NOTHING OTHER THAN THE SALIVA THAT DROOLS DOWN FROM MY CLASSMATES' VACANT AND TIRED FACES.
BATTLE TACTICS - OK, THIS CLASS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY AWESOME AND CORNELIA'S A GREAT TEACHER DESPITE HER TAKING BIGOTRY, PRETENTIOUS BITCHINESS AND BLINDING PINK HAIR TO A LUDICROUS DEGREE. MOVING ON.
COOKING - EDIBLE THINGS CAN BE BOUGHT FROM THE STORE OR HUNTED DOWN, I DON'T NEED TO FUCKING KNOW THE MANY WAYS I COULD USE MOTHERFUCKING OREGANO TO ENHANCE MY DISHES' FLAVORS.
DANCE - THE LIST OF AWFUL FUCKING CLASSES HAS TRULY BEGAN, AND THIS CLASS IS ITS UNHOLY BAPTISM. PROSTATE BEFORE ITS CATCHY LYRICS ABOUT TEACHING ME HOW TO "DOOGIE", FESTER BEFORE THE INSTRUCTIONAL AID ON HOW TO PROPERLY EXECUTE "THE ROBOT".
I CAN FUCKING FIGHT I DON'T NEED TO LEARN THE MASHED POTATO. LEARNING THE MASHED POTATO HAS BEEN THE LEAST HELPFUL, UNDOUBTEDLY MOST POINTLESS HIGHLIGHT OF MY MISERABLE LIFE AND THE SAD PART IS THAT I CAN'T UNLEARN IT.
MONEY MANAGEMENT - EVERY MORON IN THE POSSESSION OF EVEN HALF A THINK PAN WOULD KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T SPEND ALL YOUR RAKS ON USELESS BULLSHIT BECAUSE THIS PLACE APPARENTLY DESPISES POOR PEOPLE. IS THIS SUCH A DIFFICULT CONCEPT TO GRASP, BULGEHEADS? I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M EVEN "STUDYING" THIS, HOLY SHIT.
FASHION - WHAT A HELPFUL FUCKING CLASS FOR MORONS. I SURE DID NEED TO KNOW WHAT COLORS COMPLEMENT "FUCHSIA" AND "PERIWINKLE:, AND I SURE DID NEED TO KNOW THAT SATIN MAKES MY ASS LOOK LIKE PLANET FUCKING JUPITER. WE HAVE UNIFORMS HERE ANYWHERE, WHO CARES.
FARMING - THE ABILITY TO BE ABLE TO GROW FLORA IS A FUCKING MYTH. PLANTS DO WHAT THEY WANT AND THEY DON'T WANT OUR GRUBBY CLAWS FONDLING THEM. MY BUD ISN'T GROWING. THIS CLASS IS A FUCKING JOKE.
GOVERNMENT - ALL LEADERS ARE STUPID AND AWFUL, WHY DO WE NEED TO DISCUSS THEM AT LENGTH? LIKE MANY CLASSES ON THIS LIST, I AM NOT LEARNING VALUABLE, PRAGMATIC LESSONS THAT ARE APPLICABLE TO THE REAL WORLD. INSTEAD I'M LEARNING THIS SHIT.
KNIGHT TRAINING - WHY IS THIS IN THIS LIST, THIS CLASS IS FUCKING AMAZING.
MAGIC FOR MAGES - DECENT CLASS.
POISONS - ALSO DECENT, BUT IT SHOULD BE A RULE THAT ANY AND ALL PSYCHOS SHOULD BE PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM THE VICINITIES.
SCIENCE OF DEDUCTION - I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. ALL THE PROFESSOR DOES IS DEMONSTRATE, PERPETUALLY, WHY HE HAS SUCH A PUNCHABLE FUCKING FACE.
SURVIVAL TECHNIQUES - 69 WAYS ON WHY, WHEN STRANDED IN THE WILD, YOU SHOULD DRINK YOUR OWN PISS.
SWORD FIGHTING - IT SOUNDS DECENT AT FIRST BUT THEN YOU FIND OUT THE PROFESSOR IS A DOUCHEBAG AND EVERYTHING GOES RIGHT DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER.
AND BY EXTENSION, BY DEFAULT, ALL OF YOU.
ASTRONOMY - STARS? WE'RE STUDYING STARS. WHOOP-DE-FUCKING-DOO, DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING HERE. THIS CLASS DOESN'T DESERVE MY RAGE. IT DOESN'T DESERVE ANYTHING -- NOTHING OTHER THAN THE SALIVA THAT DROOLS DOWN FROM MY CLASSMATES' VACANT AND TIRED FACES.
BATTLE TACTICS - OK, THIS CLASS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY AWESOME AND CORNELIA'S A GREAT TEACHER DESPITE HER TAKING BIGOTRY, PRETENTIOUS BITCHINESS AND BLINDING PINK HAIR TO A LUDICROUS DEGREE. MOVING ON.
COOKING - EDIBLE THINGS CAN BE BOUGHT FROM THE STORE OR HUNTED DOWN, I DON'T NEED TO FUCKING KNOW THE MANY WAYS I COULD USE MOTHERFUCKING OREGANO TO ENHANCE MY DISHES' FLAVORS.
DANCE - THE LIST OF AWFUL FUCKING CLASSES HAS TRULY BEGAN, AND THIS CLASS IS ITS UNHOLY BAPTISM. PROSTATE BEFORE ITS CATCHY LYRICS ABOUT TEACHING ME HOW TO "DOOGIE", FESTER BEFORE THE INSTRUCTIONAL AID ON HOW TO PROPERLY EXECUTE "THE ROBOT".
I CAN FUCKING FIGHT I DON'T NEED TO LEARN THE MASHED POTATO. LEARNING THE MASHED POTATO HAS BEEN THE LEAST HELPFUL, UNDOUBTEDLY MOST POINTLESS HIGHLIGHT OF MY MISERABLE LIFE AND THE SAD PART IS THAT I CAN'T UNLEARN IT.
MONEY MANAGEMENT - EVERY MORON IN THE POSSESSION OF EVEN HALF A THINK PAN WOULD KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T SPEND ALL YOUR RAKS ON USELESS BULLSHIT BECAUSE THIS PLACE APPARENTLY DESPISES POOR PEOPLE. IS THIS SUCH A DIFFICULT CONCEPT TO GRASP, BULGEHEADS? I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M EVEN "STUDYING" THIS, HOLY SHIT.
FASHION - WHAT A HELPFUL FUCKING CLASS FOR MORONS. I SURE DID NEED TO KNOW WHAT COLORS COMPLEMENT "FUCHSIA" AND "PERIWINKLE:, AND I SURE DID NEED TO KNOW THAT SATIN MAKES MY ASS LOOK LIKE PLANET FUCKING JUPITER. WE HAVE UNIFORMS HERE ANYWHERE, WHO CARES.
FARMING - THE ABILITY TO BE ABLE TO GROW FLORA IS A FUCKING MYTH. PLANTS DO WHAT THEY WANT AND THEY DON'T WANT OUR GRUBBY CLAWS FONDLING THEM. MY BUD ISN'T GROWING. THIS CLASS IS A FUCKING JOKE.
GOVERNMENT - ALL LEADERS ARE STUPID AND AWFUL, WHY DO WE NEED TO DISCUSS THEM AT LENGTH? LIKE MANY CLASSES ON THIS LIST, I AM NOT LEARNING VALUABLE, PRAGMATIC LESSONS THAT ARE APPLICABLE TO THE REAL WORLD. INSTEAD I'M LEARNING THIS SHIT.
KNIGHT TRAINING - WHY IS THIS IN THIS LIST, THIS CLASS IS FUCKING AMAZING.
MAGIC FOR MAGES - DECENT CLASS.
POISONS - ALSO DECENT, BUT IT SHOULD BE A RULE THAT ANY AND ALL PSYCHOS SHOULD BE PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM THE VICINITIES.
SCIENCE OF DEDUCTION - I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. ALL THE PROFESSOR DOES IS DEMONSTRATE, PERPETUALLY, WHY HE HAS SUCH A PUNCHABLE FUCKING FACE.
SURVIVAL TECHNIQUES - 69 WAYS ON WHY, WHEN STRANDED IN THE WILD, YOU SHOULD DRINK YOUR OWN PISS.
SWORD FIGHTING - IT SOUNDS DECENT AT FIRST BUT THEN YOU FIND OUT THE PROFESSOR IS A DOUCHEBAG AND EVERYTHING GOES RIGHT DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER.
no subject
Really?