rakuen | [text]

okay so
took a little impromptu nap there
orange sleeping beauty woken up by a slobbery kiss from the frog prince himself
my entire face will break out in warts and zits
just like the pizzafaced kid in the back of everyones class photo
hit puberty little too early
sprouting up like a weed
bones twisting and metamorphosing into a teenage butterfly
pitch dropping with his testicles and hair growing in places no one wants to see
thanks for that one rakuen
my glorious visage marred by the trademark of growing up
just like halloween

you all better get in line cause
im brewing a goddamn cauldron full of bubble and trouble and its first come first serve
this shit is nasty once its cold and not in a good way
so
no reserves no holding off
just the wafting fucking aroma of stale farts
basically im tooty after gruntilda got through with her and im bitter as hell about it
going to cause some bonafide mischief now that im back
in the form of a potion that makes you shit your pants
but shh shh you didnt hear it from me

so yeah
back to my personal sleepless hell
sup guys im just feeling fresh and REfreshed
ready to take on the endless day and night once again
looking forward to that

anyways
cant be assed to read over all of this forum post shit so
what did i miss

[[ back after some hiatus. davesprite was in a coma during most of this, feel free to handwave any interactions there. no need to consult me! & replies will be in orange unless you opt out! ]]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Dirk has ulterior motives for talking to orange Dave. ]

Sleeping Beauty and the Frog Prince aren't part of the same mythos, plus you totally got it backwards. He never kissed anyone.
But anyway, one of the six towers was unsealed and a giant lizard attacked the arena. We defeated it.
The round's over, Dave and I won and so did Fortitude.

dont care
its a metaphor as mixed as a fruit smoothie
and thats the way its supposed to be

alright cool
but whats that even mean
unsealed towers
giant lizard
comprende

sleeping beauty
you basically missed a shitton
including me owning your ass for like a day or two
suddenly we are a fangirls hottest wet dream
all the selfcest that could have happen while you were just snoozing away
i know
tmi
you missed giant stupid monsters
shitty towers opening
and
well everything

[Guess who isn't talking about John yet. This pansy!

Also, he'll never admit it. But he kind of super worried and he's really relieved you're here...

Really. Relieved.]

Okay, you know those huge towers around the city? There's six of them. I've been here a week, I can't seriously know more than you.
A bunch of people opened one of them up. And a giant lizard came out of it.
You know, a mid-boss? But we kicked its ass and got some sweet EXP and loot.

this entire schools a setup for some hot master/slave bsdm action
feels like everything about the situations pretty wet dream
you better have gotten your goddamn somnophilia on otherwise im fucking disappointed
yeah thats pretty tmi but im not sorry to anyone reading

alright well
looks like ive got a lot of catching up to do
whats new
besides the whole hellspawn and towers shit

dave......

well yeah i know about the towers im asking for a little elaboration
you were pretty vague

but ok thats cool
midboss alright
howd it fit inside
wait are we talking like trex sized lizard or just dog sized
i was assuming a dinosaur
so i was imagining some clown car contortionist circus sideshow folding in

i was basically covered in bitches this round
although it was also the most awkward harem since a lot of everyone is suddenly taking some fully paid trips to comaland
its pretty much slowly turning into an epidemic at this point
hnrghhgh
not too much otherwise
fortitude won
so you guys might be in trouble beginning of next round
soz man

hey
sorry

oh and you know
cant hear music buddy john
ollied the fuck out
went back to do windy hero shit
and all
that happened too
probably thought youd like to know
we are down to basically one derp
was getting crowded anyways
whatre they doing here anyways???
hah

It was more in-between. Not quite dinosaur-sized, maybe more like an elephant.
A star appeared in the sky and it appeared from there, so maybe it wasn't literally inside the tower. Video game logic is not to be questioned.
How do you go inside houses that are barely the same size as your little eight-bit protagonist and find sprawling maps with multiple rooms? It makes no sense and neither does this.

[ oh, okay. dave's end of the line is quiet for a good minute. he hasn't forgotten what it's like to lose a friend-- yeah, he never forgets that-- but he thought that maybe he and them were all safe here, away from the game. he thinks about losing his jade again. ]

youll be alright

right video game logic
ok i can wrap my head around that
sounds cool
what prizes did you get

i am alright
totes fine
the amount of fine i am right now is basically off the charts
no one can get finer than how fine i am
shit is so fine
fuck ill just leave it at that

[He sat in a broom closet with Jade.]

Vouchers for the shop. One free item.
I'm still working on what I want to get.
It seems people got them even if they didn't participate in the fight, so you might have one as well.

There's something I need to talk to you about.
You're not going to like it. In fact, I suspect you'll actually be very upset about it, and for that I can't apologize enough.
But it's still something I need to know.

yeah what am i talking about of course youre alright
this very second

seriously though shit sucks
heres some grizzled doomed timeline advice that im never going to repeat and i expect youll never repeat either
stop that and give yourself a second
do it while no ones looking
and remember at least hes not dead

anyways dirks saying shit about a star in the sky that summoned a fucking lizard whats that about

youd be surprised
its pretty fucking hard to phase a dave
so go ahead
shoot

Is that so? That's a huge relief. I am so happy to hear that.
You're from Jade's timeline. Correct?

i know hes not dead

[Actually, you don't want to know what Jade said. It basically nearly freaked him out. These kids sure are a work of art.]

i was gonna say id tell you in person but
that actually doesnt matter
the wonders of text and how unchanging it is
so we kind of summoned a giant lizard
er
thing
basically the towers seem to be activated by prefects
and unlocking them makes a giant ass star appear
also summons what seems to be a giant ass monster
so yeah
i guess game plan is to unlock all these towers now
i have no idea what happens after though

[ yeah, ok. he was right. this will upset him. but dave's not about to let dirk know that. ]

yep

She said she doesn't exist anymore. I'm not okay with that.
So what do we do?

[ He's more or less just decided that that's not going to happen, and he's not going to let it happen. ]

[ he feels a tinge of bitterness and dislike for his other self-- he's obviously torn up about it, intensely enough that davesprite can feel it as clear as day and is pretty sure others would be able to as well. and davesprite feels like dave shouldn't be so upset when john's still alive, and when there is a chance they can meet again. despite his jade being here, he's given up on his john ever showing up. because he's dead, and the dead don't just come back to life. jade is only here because she was alive during all of that.

he keeps his response short. ]

sounds pretty cool
how the fuck it took them so long to figure that out i dont know though
i guess its more obvious in retrospect

what do you think i tried to do and failed to do
big hint at the spelling bee
its saving her
i thought i did that by rewinding time but apparently not
a doomed timelines a doomed timeline and theres nothing you can do about it

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