[text]

[kingdomsgambit]

[filtered from david]

I fancy someone.

How does one normally propose marriage in Rakuen?

[ oh, 5th century people. ]

Comments

[knightime]

im offended
worst friend
i hope you appreciate all the texts i send you during class
hah

dont you people believe in dating?
oh wait
i forget
everything is basically arranged marriages and happy fairytale endings
dating doesnt always lead to marriage
sometimes people just dont always stay together

[kingdomsgambit]

No! No more texts during class.
They're usually an obnoxious amount.
Not to mention terribly, terribly unfunny.

That is simply untrue.
As much as I adore happy endings, I cannot go an entire week without hearing about a miscreant murdering his wife over a domestic spat.
"King John, Sir Wallowick has beheaded Lady Wallowick over the last slice of goat cheese. He believes they are in an adulterous affair."
"Good heavens, man, that does not make for pleasant breakfast conversation!"

But... why would you be kissing someone you wouldn't want to be with forever?
Wait. Aren't you a little too young for romance, anyway?

[knightime]

liar
you totally laughed at them
i know you did
if youre gonna lie
at least do it convincingly

...
what
speechless
me
the end

just sometimes people like to fuck around
and sometimes it doesnt work out
thankfully it doesnt end with beheading
what
you saying i cant hold hands with jade
or want to kiss her once in awhile when shes being exceptionally drop dead adorable

[knightime]

fml
not something i actually wanted to just casually tell the entire network

but point still stands
maybe i just really like her enough that i want to have sloppy makeouts
or maybe just hang around her all the time and if im feeling super risque
hold her hand
lay off
age is a stupid fucking number anyways

[kingdomsgambit]

I chuckle, because they are absurd.
I believe you have successfully expanded my tiny list of phallic euphemisms.
Thank you.

Good lord, keep the love-making in the marital bed.
You're not, uh... with Jade?
Because if you are, we must discuss this man-to-boy.

That... aside, I apologize.
I am merely unfamiliar with your culture. I am doing my best to keep an open mind.

[knightime]

youll know all the penis jokes you ever wanted to make
itll be a blessing and a curse
your welcome

uh
i didnt mention anything about sex
so not only are you old
youre a pervert
the more i know
im not what
it might come to you as a surprise
but believe it or not
i am not actually a mind reader nor am i fluent and vague egbertian ways
but i can slap on a private to this if that makes you feel any better

[kingdomsgambit]

I never wanted to make all the one-eyed trouser snake jokes, Dave.
I never will.

No, you did.
You said "sometimes people just want to fuck around" regarding dating.
I know what fuck means.
And you and Jade are dating.

Do you think this conversation should warrant a filter?

[knightime]

youll find them useful one day
and it isnt because your hammer was happy to see me

wait
shit
i didnt actually me actual fucking
curse my use of extremely crude and offensive language
some people just do the whole getting together thing super casual
friends with benefits
this isnt that btw
im just saying
so you can continue to being a prude john
dont even worry about it

[kingdomsgambit]

Ah. Very good, then.
I am happy for the two of you, at least. (Is that the correct thing to say, or?)

I am not a prude!

[knightime]

idk why were even talking about this
youre the one wanting to get hitched
so about you tying the knot with older me

also you so are
you probably cant even type these oh so scandalous words without getting red in the face

[kingdomsgambit]

I really like David.
If there's anybody I want to spend the rest of my days with, it's him, I think.

No, I believe it's just because you're crude.

[knightime]

just done jump the gun
it would suck
for both of you

its because youre a prude
admit it

[kingdomsgambit]

What is jumping the gun?

I shall not.

[knightime]

fuck
im never not going to be frustrated over the amount of shit that flies over everyones heads
just dont do anything rash

prude