Monday

[gottakilldaves]

Characters: Jack Noir & Conquest Students
Format: prose, actionbrackets, whatever the hell you want
This log is: OPEN obviously
Location: Wilderness Survival Class, which isn't actually outside because fuck that
Summary: actually make that Minimal Effort Teaching 101
Warnings: if someone doesn't get stabbed I'll be very disappointed

[For the second day of class Jack decides to actually show up, so if anyone was hoping to get another free period out of it they're shit out of luck this time. Five minutes late, he slams open the door and stomps angrily over to his desk, taking about two seconds to look over his class before deciding he hates every last one of you.]

Alright all you whiny little fucks, let's get one thing straight here-- I'm don't wanna teach shit, and you're all probably hopeless doomed wimps anyway. But apparently I'm getting paid just to be here, so fuck if I'm gonna waste my time anywhere else.

So here's your first lesson, everyone shut the fuck up. Knowing when to shut the fuck up is a great skill to have when you don't wanna get murdered in the woods. You can all practice that for the rest of the class.

[With that he takes his seat, kicks his feet up on the desk, and begins doodling on the back of a random book.]

Comments

[witchofspace]

Hi Jack!

[Waves!!
She made extra sure to sign up for your class.]

[gottakilldaves]

I just said to shut your-- [wait wait he knows that voice

He looks up, looking a little surprised.] What the fuck are you doing here?

[leadscrows]

[ ...this is stupid. She was finished with school years ago at home, and every day of the same? Boring. She picks things up too quickly. She knew how to survive in the wilderness at the age of five.

So instead she quietly slips out of her desk and makes her way up to Jack, making sure that the knives she's stolen from the kitchen are easy enough to reach and pull if she needs them. ]

Very artful. Are we learning painting next?

[gottakilldaves]

[He was drawing a lovely picture of an adorable Scottie dog, and by lovely I mean he sucks at drawing. He growls and crumples it when she sneaks up on him, though.]

How about we start with sitting back in your fucking desk and getting out of my face?

[leadscrows]

I've been finished with school since I could learn my letters. [ A pointed yawn with the free hand so that she can show just how bored she is!! But also stepping away in case he gets violent. ]

What is it with everyone here being so obsessed with the things that go on in the bedroom?

[gottakilldaves]

And I'm not a fucking teacher, suck it up.

[aaaand it takes him a minute to figure out what the hell she's trying to say there, because he's not used to this whole other universes thing where people talk all weird. He slowly raises an eyebrow.]

Better get used to it now, kid. Not gonna change my speech for any whiners.

[missedflyball]

[Hinata was sleeping the first five minutes of class-- just how he'd been napping pretty much through all of his classes. He looked up when he heard some rather familiar shouting though.

Oh, god, it's this guy.]

What, this place doesn't even have the decency to hire real teachers?

[gottakilldaves]

[Without even looking up from his drawing,] Nope.

[At least he admits it?]

[missedflyball]

[Hinata is going to copy his stance, feet up on his desk.]

All of the other classes got pissed at me for sleeping through it... Mind if I sleep through this one? It's pointless anyway.

[gottakilldaves]

I don't give a shit about what you do, so stop talking before I chuck a ruler down your throat.

[Enjoy it while it lasts, Hinata. It's only a matter of time before Jack realizes he's allowed to abuse everyone here in the name of education.]

[missedflyball]

Why would you have a ruler in this class? It's a wilderness survival class. Unless you're telling me that rulers are going to suddenly attack us in the wilderness?

[Yeah, he suddenly doesn't feel like shutting up now that you really want him to, Jack.]

you don't get an apology dwi B[ (ilu)

[gottakilldaves]

[To answer his question, Jack attempts to chuck a ruler down his throat.

It's actually thrown with startling accuracy so Hinata should probably duck before he loses his neck, that shit is metal and Jack Noir doesn't fuck around.]

[frozenmemories]

[Cirno listens and stays quiet!...For about 3 minutes]


Boooooooooooooooooooooooooring!

[gottakilldaves]

[skdjf crumpling his flawless drawing again in rage]

What part of shut the fuck up are you not getting here, kid?

[frozenmemories]

That's boring! Other classes have SOMETHING ta do!

LATE TAGS EVERYWHERE if you wanna keep going

[gottakilldaves]

Then go find your own stupid shit to do, Christ, I'm not your fucking babysitter! Go read a book or something! As long as you're not being annoying, I don't give a shit!

Yeeesh XD

[frozenmemories]

But isn't a teacher supposta teach?

[Cirno just leans back in her seat with a smirk on her face. This was going to be fun.]

[gottakilldaves]

I'm already teaching you to shut up and you're fucking failing, it's not my fault if you're too much of a dumbass to listen.

[nocathere]

[Wait, only students are supposed to go to classes? Forget that. Cheshire is making this his class. He starts out grinning really creepily at Jack, just staring at him non-stop. That was just section a of Lesson 1: how to be obnoxious without ever speaking.]

[gottakilldaves]

[It takes him awhile to notice Cheshire is even there, but once he does...]

What the hell are you looking at?

[nocathere]

[Cheshire just keeps smiling silently]

BACKTAGS if you want etc.

[gottakilldaves]

[...whyyyyy]

Cut that shit out. It's fucking creepy.

;D

[nocathere]

[Cheshire just keeps smiling for a moment before very, very slowly winking at Jack. Come on, he is begging to be stabbed.]

[gottakilldaves]

[He is.

After some deliberation, he pulls an extremely sharpened pencil out of his pocket and whips it right at that fucking cat.]

[nocathere]

[Cheshire narrowly dodges the pencil, only to bound over to Jack and jump up on the back of his chair.]

[vespertinity]

[Ohhhh it's another really angry human.]

What is a 'fuck'?

[gottakilldaves]

[... There's a bat in his class.

Okay. Cool. At least it's not as creepy as the cat.]

It means shut up and stop asking me questions.

[vespertinity]

[But her mouth was already closed... maybe he wanted her to look up! Pip looked up, tilting her head further and further...

...and squeaked as she fell backwards off the desk.]

backtagging 4 lyfe, forgive my lateness and whatnot orz

[gottakilldaves]

The hell are you doing.

[He can't even be mad about this you are a bat, what. Who knows what's going through that little head of hers, fuck if he knows.]