Karkat Vantas - carcinoGeneticist (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
threshprinceoffuckyou) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rakuen2012-02-06 01:13 am
threshprinceoffuckyou) wrote in rakuen2012-02-06 01:13 am
[city wide network post: look who got a pda][jaws theme][karkat shut up]
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened memo RAUNCHY RAINBOW ASSHOLE SESSION --
IT FINALLY HAPPENED.
IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED!
ROUND UP YOUR LITTLE NEWS SCUTTLEBUGS, VARIOUS PRINTING PRESSES AND EVERY FORM OF THINKABLE MEDIA
GATHER UP YOUR BELOVED AND HATED ONES AROUND THE EARTH FIRE
BECAUSE IT IS WITH A HEAVY HEART AND A CONSTIPATED EXPRESSION THAT I PRESENT TO YOU "THE NEWS"
KARKAT VANTAS HAS OFFICIALLY LOST HIS MIND!
IT TOOK HIM *THIS* LONG?
APPARENTLY, GIVE THE TROLL A PRIZE
YOU’D THINK THE FACT THAT HE CURSED HIS SUBORDINATES BY ACTIVATING A FILE, FUCKED HIS SESSION SIDEWAYS, WATCHED HELPLESSLY AS HIS TEAM CRUMBLED APART BEFORE HIS VERY EYES AND MURDERED EACH OTHER AND SENTENCED HIS NEW ALIEN PALS TO DAMNATION BY GIVING THEIR (SPOILER ALERT!!) UNIVERSE CANCER WOULD’VE DONE IT
BUT NOPE
WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT THAT THE THING, THE ONE MINISCULE THING THAT WOULD PUSH HIM OFF THE EDGE OF SANITY INTO TEREZI’S PERSONAL GAME PARLOR, WOULD BE A DOUCHEBAG WITH PURSED LIPS AND A SUPER FLIGHTY BROAD DEBASING HIM IN FRONT OF HIS TEAM???
YEAH THAT WAS KIND OF A WILD CARD ENDING, HUH.
BEFORE ANY OF YOU NOOKWADS MAKE A MORONIC STATEMENT ABOUT HOW I AM APPARENTLY NOT FUCKING INSANE THEN LET’S CONSIDER THE OTHER POSSIBILITIES SHALL WE?
POSSIBILITY A: THE MORE LIKELY POSSIBILITY OTHER THAN INSANITY. I AM IN A FUCKING DREAMBUBBLE. HOLY MILKBEAST, BATMAN, WHAT A RELIEF! HOW ENJOYABLE IT IS FOR ME TO LAY UNCONSCIOUS ON TOP OF A PILE OF HARD-EDGED OBJECTS WHILE HORRORTERRORS VIOLATE MY YOUNG SUPPLE FLESH AND TEASE FORTH THE GENETIC MATERIAL FROM MY FREAKY ALIEN GENITALIA. THANK YOU, HORRORTERROS, BECAUSE MY SHAME GLOBES NEEDED A NEW MATESPRIT. THEY'RE NOT IN VERY GOOD TERMS WITH MY RIGHT CLAW RIGHT NOW!
POSSIBILITY B: THIS IS ALL FUCKING REAL.
HA HA HA HA HA
LOOK AT THESE QUIRKY WORDS SPEWING FORTH FROM MY ABSURDITY PALATE
BECAUSE THIS PLACE MAKES SO MUCH SENSE WITHIN THE CONTINUITY OF TIME/SPACE
LET ME WRITE ALL OF THIS DOWN FOR MY NEXT BOOK "THE MULTIVERSE: A DUMBASS'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY" WHERE I WILL BE LAUDED THE NEXT TROLL ALBERT EINSTEIN.
...
OK THE POSSIBILITY THAT THIS IS REAL IS STILL THERE AND IT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW.
TROLLS AND HUMANS THAT I KNOW, REPORT IN.
IF YOU DON’T REPORT IN AND YOU ARE ACTUALLY, IN FACT, IN THIS PLACE, WHATEVER IT IS, THEN LET ME JUST SAY YOU ARE GETTING A HEAPING DOSE OF "HAHAHA WOW" AND A SIDE ORDER OF "FUCK YOU AND JUST REPORT IN, YOU MENTALLY DEFICIENT PIECE OF SHIT."
FYI I AM PRESENTLY HELD HOSTAGE AT THE CAMPUS KNOWN AS "CONQUEST", HUNCHED SURREPTITIOUSLY WHILE I USE MY SHITTY NEW PDA AS MY PEERS PASS ME BY WITH HATEFUL JUDGMENT IN THEIR EYES.
IS THERE A MORE CONVENIENT COMMUNICATING DEVICE (A.K.A. HUSKTOP) BECAUSE THIS IS SHIT
NO, MY BAD, THIS IS THE SHIT SHIT *EATS*.
P.S. WHAT *ON EARTH* (LITERALLY) ARE BALLS
WHY ARE THEY REQUIRED TO DESCEND
DOES SANTANA HAVE THEM
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY IS SHE USING THEM TO ESTABLISH SUPERIORITY OVER ME
IT FINALLY HAPPENED.
IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED!
ROUND UP YOUR LITTLE NEWS SCUTTLEBUGS, VARIOUS PRINTING PRESSES AND EVERY FORM OF THINKABLE MEDIA
GATHER UP YOUR BELOVED AND HATED ONES AROUND THE EARTH FIRE
BECAUSE IT IS WITH A HEAVY HEART AND A CONSTIPATED EXPRESSION THAT I PRESENT TO YOU "THE NEWS"
KARKAT VANTAS HAS OFFICIALLY LOST HIS MIND!
IT TOOK HIM *THIS* LONG?
APPARENTLY, GIVE THE TROLL A PRIZE
YOU’D THINK THE FACT THAT HE CURSED HIS SUBORDINATES BY ACTIVATING A FILE, FUCKED HIS SESSION SIDEWAYS, WATCHED HELPLESSLY AS HIS TEAM CRUMBLED APART BEFORE HIS VERY EYES AND MURDERED EACH OTHER AND SENTENCED HIS NEW ALIEN PALS TO DAMNATION BY GIVING THEIR (SPOILER ALERT!!) UNIVERSE CANCER WOULD’VE DONE IT
BUT NOPE
WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT THAT THE THING, THE ONE MINISCULE THING THAT WOULD PUSH HIM OFF THE EDGE OF SANITY INTO TEREZI’S PERSONAL GAME PARLOR, WOULD BE A DOUCHEBAG WITH PURSED LIPS AND A SUPER FLIGHTY BROAD DEBASING HIM IN FRONT OF HIS TEAM???
YEAH THAT WAS KIND OF A WILD CARD ENDING, HUH.
BEFORE ANY OF YOU NOOKWADS MAKE A MORONIC STATEMENT ABOUT HOW I AM APPARENTLY NOT FUCKING INSANE THEN LET’S CONSIDER THE OTHER POSSIBILITIES SHALL WE?
POSSIBILITY A: THE MORE LIKELY POSSIBILITY OTHER THAN INSANITY. I AM IN A FUCKING DREAMBUBBLE. HOLY MILKBEAST, BATMAN, WHAT A RELIEF! HOW ENJOYABLE IT IS FOR ME TO LAY UNCONSCIOUS ON TOP OF A PILE OF HARD-EDGED OBJECTS WHILE HORRORTERRORS VIOLATE MY YOUNG SUPPLE FLESH AND TEASE FORTH THE GENETIC MATERIAL FROM MY FREAKY ALIEN GENITALIA. THANK YOU, HORRORTERROS, BECAUSE MY SHAME GLOBES NEEDED A NEW MATESPRIT. THEY'RE NOT IN VERY GOOD TERMS WITH MY RIGHT CLAW RIGHT NOW!
POSSIBILITY B: THIS IS ALL FUCKING REAL.
HA HA HA HA HA
LOOK AT THESE QUIRKY WORDS SPEWING FORTH FROM MY ABSURDITY PALATE
BECAUSE THIS PLACE MAKES SO MUCH SENSE WITHIN THE CONTINUITY OF TIME/SPACE
LET ME WRITE ALL OF THIS DOWN FOR MY NEXT BOOK "THE MULTIVERSE: A DUMBASS'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY" WHERE I WILL BE LAUDED THE NEXT TROLL ALBERT EINSTEIN.
...
OK THE POSSIBILITY THAT THIS IS REAL IS STILL THERE AND IT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW.
TROLLS AND HUMANS THAT I KNOW, REPORT IN.
IF YOU DON’T REPORT IN AND YOU ARE ACTUALLY, IN FACT, IN THIS PLACE, WHATEVER IT IS, THEN LET ME JUST SAY YOU ARE GETTING A HEAPING DOSE OF "HAHAHA WOW" AND A SIDE ORDER OF "FUCK YOU AND JUST REPORT IN, YOU MENTALLY DEFICIENT PIECE OF SHIT."
FYI I AM PRESENTLY HELD HOSTAGE AT THE CAMPUS KNOWN AS "CONQUEST", HUNCHED SURREPTITIOUSLY WHILE I USE MY SHITTY NEW PDA AS MY PEERS PASS ME BY WITH HATEFUL JUDGMENT IN THEIR EYES.
IS THERE A MORE CONVENIENT COMMUNICATING DEVICE (A.K.A. HUSKTOP) BECAUSE THIS IS SHIT
NO, MY BAD, THIS IS THE SHIT SHIT *EATS*.
P.S. WHAT *ON EARTH* (LITERALLY) ARE BALLS
WHY ARE THEY REQUIRED TO DESCEND
DOES SANTANA HAVE THEM
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY IS SHE USING THEM TO ESTABLISH SUPERIORITY OVER ME
no subject
no fucking seriously
why did you think it was a good idea to type so much
do you know how annoying it is to scroll through this much text on a tiny ass pda???
its a fucking bitch
also wow
insufferable prick
thank you very much
keep your douchebag comments to yourself
also rise and shine sleeping beauty
this isnt a dream
and youre stuck smack dab in the middle of some bullshit game
welcome to rakuen
this is not disneyland
so dont expect the happiest place on earth
haha
oh shit
fuck that hurt
santana just fucking made fun of you
probably called you a fucking pussy oh my fuck
no subject
NO.
I SAID RESPOND TO THE MEMO, PERIOD.
I'M NOT MAKING ANY DOUCHEBAG COMMENTS, DOUCHEBAG.
EVERYTHING I SAY HERE IS IRREFUTABLE FACT.
FACT: YOU'RE A DOUCHEBAG.
WORD OF THE DAY! LEARN IT. LIVE IT. LOVE IT.
SAVE IT AND SHUT YOUR SEEDFLAP, STRIDER.
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
no subject
cant be tamed
strider swag all up in this shit
i responded
and gave you sass
it isnt a strider copyright until theres some good ol strider sass all up in your memo
that only depends
is douchebag a promotion from insufferable prick???
i gotta know dude
gotta know if im going up my echeladder of asshole
whatever
so now that youve capslocked a memo to its fucking death
whats up???
guess i should be decent and ask how you are???
i can only guess pissed to fucking hell
but hey
maybe beneath your shitty grey text
lies a heart of a blushing maiden
no subject
FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT WORDS THAT MEAN THE SAME THING, SEE: SYNONYMS.
I AM NOT EVEN GOING TO DIGNIFY THAT WITH AN ANSWER.
TELL ME HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN HERE AND YOUR TIMELINE, STAT.
P.S. I EAT BLUSHING MAIDEN HEARTS FOR LUNCH
BECAUSE IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW, I AM A STRONG AND FEROCIOUS TROLL.
no subject
you ask about my timeline
i actually
cant give you a straight up answer thats accurate
the last thing i remember is looking for
shit
whats her name
fuck
you probably know it
types in lime green
yeah her
but i know im also forgetting shit
like im pretty sure i should know remember shit beyond meeting up with her
so
congratulations
this place fucking fucks up memories like a sorry son of a bitch
wow
you arent fucking fooling anyone
gog
no subject
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU FORGET ABOUT HER NAME
SHE'S YOUR *FRIEND*, DICKBAG.
LIES AND MOTHERFUCKING SLANDER.
ALL *MY* MEMORIES ARE FINE.
I CAN SHRED YOU TO PIECES WITH MY CLAWS, HUMAN.
REMEMBER THAT BEFORE YOU SCOFF AT MY TROLLISHNESS.
no subject
i didnt up and decide
hey i want to forget the name of my friends
this place decided that fucking with my memories
and everyone else
is just cute
it isnt
and im not even lying
im giving you the honest to gog truth
your memories are fucked up
right
of course
your little kitty claws
no subject
ALL MY MEMORIES ARE PERFECTLY INTACT.
SUCK ON THAT, ASSHOLE.
no subject
the day or moment
you figure out that isnt the case
i will laugh
and youll hate yourself for getting yourself in a bullshit situation like that