[city-wide network post][karkat shut up: memo 3]

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened memo CUT THE SHIT OUT AND LISTEN FOR FUCKING ONCE --

OK, FOR FUCKING ONCE, I'M NOT BEING A RETARDED, ORNERY FUCK-UP
SO PRIOR-TO-THIS-SHITFEST MEMBERS, HUMANS AND TROLLS ALIKE, ZIP IT AND LISTEN UP.
(IF YOU'RE SANTANA OR AISHA, FUCK OFF, NOBODY LIKES YOU. FUN FACT OF THE DAY: EVERY TIME EITHER ONE OF YOU OPENS UP YOUR WORD HOLE, FORTY BRAIN CELLS ARE KILLED. FORTY. THAT'S LIKE FOUR TENS!!!)

ACTUALLY BEFORE I PROCEED TO THE IIIIMPORTANT THING!!! I WAS GOING TO TALK ABOUT, LET ME JUST SAY:
DAY IS A BITCH.
NO, REALLY, THIS IS COMING FROM THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE ANYONE HERE COULD EVER HAVE THE DISPLEASURE OF KNOWING.
DAY IS A MEGALOMANIAC, BELLIGERENT FUCKING BITCH AND IT WOULD BE IN EVERYBODY'S BEST INTERESTS TO PUT HER INSIDE A BROWN SACK AND THROW HER IN A RIVER. SHE IS ASTOUNDINGLY SHITHIVE MAGGOTS FOR A FLESHY HUMAN AND SHOULD NOT BE PUT IN ANY POSITION OF POWER, EVER, BECAUSE FOR HOW INFINITELY DIFFERENT HUMANS ARE FROM TROLLS, I'M PRETTY SURE BOTH OF OUR SPECIES COULD AGREE ON THAT SURVIVING IS AN OPTION WE WOULD ALL WANT TO ENJOY.

NOW THAT'S ON THE TABLE:
LET'S TALK.
FOR SOME REASON, THE TIME/SPACE RIFT THAT DRAGS STUDENTS ARE STRONGER FOR US SBURB PLAYERS
BECAUSE WHEN HAS IT NOT BEEN??? WHEN HAS TIME/SPACE STOPPED SHITTING ON US FROM ITS ABSURD HUMAN HOOFBEAST?
AND THEN YADDY YADDY YADDA, YOU ARRIVE VIA TRAIN, YOU'VE HEARD THIS SHIT BEFORE. WELCOME TO RAKUEN, THE DUMBEST PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE, ETC.
LET ME MENTION THE DOUBLES. THEY'RE HERE. WE HAVE TWO JOHNS, SERIOUSLY, THAT IS A LUDICROUS AMOUNT OF JOHNS THAT I THINK I'M GOING TO SHIT MYSELF.
THEY'RE DIFFERENT, THOUGH. THERE'S THE ONE I KNOW, AND THERE'S THE DEAF ONE
BECAUSE FOR SOME INCOMPREHENSIBLE REASON, TIME/SPACE NOT ONLY LIKES FUCKING UP WITH TIMELINES, IT ALSO LIKES MAKING INFINITE COPIES OF YOUR IDIOTIC SELVES.
WITH THAT ESTABLISHED, HERE'S A REFERENCE OF US:
CONQUEST - KARKAT VANTAS, JOHN EGBERT, FEFERI PEIXES, TWO STRIDERS I AM POSITIVELY BOGGLING ABOUT
FORTITUDE - JADE HARLEY (BRUISED), JOHN EGBERT (DEAF), DAVE STRIDER (MUTE), VRISKA SERKET, THE MIDWIFE (DIPSHIT)
TRY TO STICK TOGETHER, AND IF YOUR PRIDE WOULD LET IT, FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD, LET FUCKING CONQUEST WIN.
YOU KNOW. BECAUSE NONE OF US WANTS TO DIE?

I'VE BEEN LEAD TO BELIEVE THAT WE HAVE LALONDE AND NITRAM ABOARD NOW?
IN WHICH CASE, OH BOOOOOOY, JUST WHAT I WANTED FOR PERIGEE'S -- A FLIGHTY BROAD AND A CRIPPLE!
WELCOME TO RAKUEN, BITCHES.

P.S. IN CASE ANYONE ASKS, I'M VOWING TO JOHN BECAUSE HE'S THE ONLY ONE IN THIS FUCKING CAMPUS THAT ISN'T STONE COLD RETARDED

Comments

[cullscuttlefish]

I went to c)(eck w)(en s)(e wasn't s)(owing up to classes. I t)(oug)(t more people knew about it, and meant to say somet)(ing )(ere but moving into t)(e prefects' dorms and getting used to t)(at pus)(ed t)(e t)(oug)(t rig)(t out of my t)(inkpan.

I'm not t)(e one you otter be apologizing to, not reely. I t)(ink you care more about t)(at rivalry t)(an you're saying, t)(ough.

text

[lovesignmasterspark]

finally something we can agree on
shes a bitch alright
ive been watching how she reacts to the conquest people for a while now
at this rate shell just start killing the students since nobody ever stays dead here
not like our own prefect at fort is exactly saintly or anything

[wakingsavior]

haha oh man awesome! i will totally come watch you kick other me's ass.
do you want to battle after for karkat's maiden honor?
i just feel like it's a thing that should be done
well if you want i mean.
i just think a friendly strife between ectosibs is all in good fun bluh bluh bluh.
plus it's my first time being a player so i'd prefer to kick off my battling with someone i know won't go for the kill if i suck.

[doesthewindything]

i'd be glad to vow with you Karkat!
we make a pretty good team.
we gotta win so the headmistress will shut up about us losing.
or at least leave us alone if we win but the others don't.
it'd be nice if she could stop throwing these warnings out like it's rotten candy.

[wakingsavior]

i think i can speak for the sburbians in fortitude at least when i saaaaay...
yeah, i kinda want to make sure you guys win.
i mean i want to kick some ass, too, but not so much that fortitude wins this week.
that shit was fucked up and i didn't even watch most of it.

[ posted almost immediately after ]

wait, rose is here????????

[knightime]

fuck you vantas

[This was like the most short lived conversation that ever was to be.]

[wakingsavior]

hey other me!
since we're both players this round, you wanna strife?
i'm pretty sure i can kick your ass in a fair fight!
;)

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

I DIDN'T NOTICE. SO THAT'S WHY MY WEEKS HAVE BEEN SO FUCKING QUIET.

WHAT ARE YOU INSINUATING HERE?
THAT I'M AS BLACK FOR HER AS SHE IS FOR ME?
BITCH, PLEASE.

[private]

[wakingsavior]

hey, try not to be a fucking asshole to him right now.
it's not really my place to tell you why, but seriously, back the fuck off.

[doesthewindything]

hey!
sure let's strife, it'd be fun.
nah, i'm pretty sure i can win this!
only one way to find out, right?

[He's totally both taking this seriously and not. Because it's another him.]

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

MAIDEN HONOR?
FUCK YOU!
100% MANLY MALE HERE.

[doesthewindything]

yep!
she's over here in conquest.
i'm trying to find her player right now though, she already got vowed.
gonna see about getting her transferred to me.

let's just make this private 'kay

[cullscuttlefish]

I'm just saying, it looks pretty black to me. And if it's requited, t)(en, )(ey. T)(at's a good t)(ing.

...better t)(an )(aving a red crus)( on someone w)(o you know won't return it because )(e and )(is moirail keep flipping between pale and flus)(ed.

[wakingsavior]

[ Hey, it's a serious thing, strifing. It's a battle to see which of them is more badass. But also DUDE THERE'S TWO OF HIM. AND THEY'RE GOING TO STRIFE. IT'LL BE AWESOME. ]

hehe exactly.
there can be only one!
well, actually there can be more than one, but only one of us can be the MOST BADASS.

[wakingsavior]

oh man, if you can pull of the transfer, i am fighting you for her.
since jade's already called dibs on karkat and all.

[private]

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

AUGH, WHAT THE FUCK, EGBERT.
YOU KNOW WHAT, DON'T TELL ME.
*I DON'T GIVE A FUCK*.

[doesthewindything]

[Of course it'll be awesome, IT'S TWO OF THEM BATTLING. What couldn't be awesome about it?]

haha, yep!
and we'll have to battle to see who becomes the MOST BADASS!

private

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

[ WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT HIM RIGHT. ]

WHAT? NO. NO, FUCK NO.
I'VE ALREADY COME TO TERMS THAT EGBERT AND STRIDER ARE FLUSHED, OK?
HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT?

[doesthewindything]

hopefully i can!
but definitely not losing her to anyone!
wouldn't say no to that kind of fight though because it'd be more awesome.
whoever's the most badass...
also gets Rose as a weapon!

text

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

THIS COULD NOT BE FUCKING LEGAL, HOLY SHIT

NOT HERE

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

[wakingsavior]

sure, whatever you say.








milady.

private forever;

[cullscuttlefish]

Wait, w)(at? I was talking about my own failed flus)(crus)( t)(at I )(aven't come to terms wit)( completely. I definitely need to get over it because it's not like Suzaku's ever going to see me as anyt)(ing but a friend.

I )(ad no idea you )(ad a crus)( like t)(at or t)(at Jo)(n and Dave were matesprits. Promise to the Mot)(er Grub.

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

OK, THAT'S IT THEN.
THERE WAS LITERALLY NO WAY YOU WOULD'VE SAID NO TO THIS PARTNERSHIP ANYWAY.

[greenspaces]

okay
i just wanted to make sure it was okay with you before i actually did it
i fought a lot last round
and i am getting better :)

how are you?