rakuen | [city-wide network post][karkat shut up: memo 3]

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened memo CUT THE SHIT OUT AND LISTEN FOR FUCKING ONCE --

OK, FOR FUCKING ONCE, I'M NOT BEING A RETARDED, ORNERY FUCK-UP
SO PRIOR-TO-THIS-SHITFEST MEMBERS, HUMANS AND TROLLS ALIKE, ZIP IT AND LISTEN UP.
(IF YOU'RE SANTANA OR AISHA, FUCK OFF, NOBODY LIKES YOU. FUN FACT OF THE DAY: EVERY TIME EITHER ONE OF YOU OPENS UP YOUR WORD HOLE, FORTY BRAIN CELLS ARE KILLED. FORTY. THAT'S LIKE FOUR TENS!!!)

ACTUALLY BEFORE I PROCEED TO THE IIIIMPORTANT THING!!! I WAS GOING TO TALK ABOUT, LET ME JUST SAY:
DAY IS A BITCH.
NO, REALLY, THIS IS COMING FROM THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE ANYONE HERE COULD EVER HAVE THE DISPLEASURE OF KNOWING.
DAY IS A MEGALOMANIAC, BELLIGERENT FUCKING BITCH AND IT WOULD BE IN EVERYBODY'S BEST INTERESTS TO PUT HER INSIDE A BROWN SACK AND THROW HER IN A RIVER. SHE IS ASTOUNDINGLY SHITHIVE MAGGOTS FOR A FLESHY HUMAN AND SHOULD NOT BE PUT IN ANY POSITION OF POWER, EVER, BECAUSE FOR HOW INFINITELY DIFFERENT HUMANS ARE FROM TROLLS, I'M PRETTY SURE BOTH OF OUR SPECIES COULD AGREE ON THAT SURVIVING IS AN OPTION WE WOULD ALL WANT TO ENJOY.

NOW THAT'S ON THE TABLE:
LET'S TALK.
FOR SOME REASON, THE TIME/SPACE RIFT THAT DRAGS STUDENTS ARE STRONGER FOR US SBURB PLAYERS
BECAUSE WHEN HAS IT NOT BEEN??? WHEN HAS TIME/SPACE STOPPED SHITTING ON US FROM ITS ABSURD HUMAN HOOFBEAST?
AND THEN YADDY YADDY YADDA, YOU ARRIVE VIA TRAIN, YOU'VE HEARD THIS SHIT BEFORE. WELCOME TO RAKUEN, THE DUMBEST PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE, ETC.
LET ME MENTION THE DOUBLES. THEY'RE HERE. WE HAVE TWO JOHNS, SERIOUSLY, THAT IS A LUDICROUS AMOUNT OF JOHNS THAT I THINK I'M GOING TO SHIT MYSELF.
THEY'RE DIFFERENT, THOUGH. THERE'S THE ONE I KNOW, AND THERE'S THE DEAF ONE
BECAUSE FOR SOME INCOMPREHENSIBLE REASON, TIME/SPACE NOT ONLY LIKES FUCKING UP WITH TIMELINES, IT ALSO LIKES MAKING INFINITE COPIES OF YOUR IDIOTIC SELVES.
WITH THAT ESTABLISHED, HERE'S A REFERENCE OF US:
CONQUEST - KARKAT VANTAS, JOHN EGBERT, FEFERI PEIXES, TWO STRIDERS I AM POSITIVELY BOGGLING ABOUT
FORTITUDE - JADE HARLEY (BRUISED), JOHN EGBERT (DEAF), DAVE STRIDER (MUTE), VRISKA SERKET, THE MIDWIFE (DIPSHIT)
TRY TO STICK TOGETHER, AND IF YOUR PRIDE WOULD LET IT, FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD, LET FUCKING CONQUEST WIN.
YOU KNOW. BECAUSE NONE OF US WANTS TO DIE?

I'VE BEEN LEAD TO BELIEVE THAT WE HAVE LALONDE AND NITRAM ABOARD NOW?
IN WHICH CASE, OH BOOOOOOY, JUST WHAT I WANTED FOR PERIGEE'S -- A FLIGHTY BROAD AND A CRIPPLE!
WELCOME TO RAKUEN, BITCHES.

P.S. IN CASE ANYONE ASKS, I'M VOWING TO JOHN BECAUSE HE'S THE ONLY ONE IN THIS FUCKING CAMPUS THAT ISN'T STONE COLD RETARDED

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

It's like a bag of Skittles exploded on the internet.

It was just a suggestion.

Hey, I never hide being a bitch, so in case you were wondering, I'm a huge bitch. But you know, I'm not always a bitch that would be a bit too tiring, so sometimes I take a break from being a bitch and decide to be nice, which, let me tell you, is equally as exhausting. But I do have friends.

I'm just going to ignore the second part of your rant because it makes absolutely no sense.

word of my second coming has spread quickly, it seems. including to people who i'm unfamiliar with.
i can only assume that we built an enduring friendship when i was here last.
i'm enormously disappointed that i don't remember it. our conversations must have been a bundle of laughs, subsequently tied around the noose and thrown into the river.

it's very fulfilling to be an auxiliary cause of violence almost immediately upon arrival.
hello to both of you, john.
i hope that one or both of you holds moderate proficiency in wielding knitting needles.

I will be. I know I just need to let it go, it's just )(ard.

well um
she is around......
and i vowed with her, so she had to teach me how to use her weapon form..

Though I would love for this to be a trap.
It isn't.
Hold the presses.
Sis Strider is respecting Karkat Vantas right the fuck now.

Maniacal madwoman is FAR from what I am.
That is the term used to describe others.
See: Day.

THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR TEXT?
DID YOUR "PROPER CAPITALIZATION" RUN AWAY FROM BEING PRETENTIOUS AND OVERUSED?

WE HAVEN'T TALKED A LOT FROM WHERE I AM BUT DON'T WORRY, YOU'RE NOT EXCLUDED FROM MY VITRIOL.
THIS MUST BE A MEMORY ERASURE THING???
FOR THE TIME BEING, YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND CALL ME -- I DON'T KNOW, A FUCKING NICKNAME OR SOMETHING.
I WILL NOT ACCEPT STUPID NICKNAMES.

WHAT ARE THESE "SKITTLES" OF WHICH YOU SPEAK OF?
IN BEFORE SOMETHING PAINSTAKINGLY RETARDED.
LIKE THE MULTITUDE OF OTHER HUMAN THINGS.

FROM NOW ON, WE WILL HENCEFORTH RECOGNIZE EVERY BILE SPEWING FORTH FROM THE CONCAVE OF YOUR CEREBRAL CORTEX TO BE IDIOTIC AND INANE
GET IT? GOT IT? GOOD.

GOOD.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU COULD DO WAY BETTER.
YOU MIGHT BE INFURIATINGLY CHIPPER BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF THINGS TO LOVE ABOUT YOU.
YOUR LAUGH, FOR EXAMPLE.
AND I'M SURE ONE OF THESE DAYS, THE RIGHT GUY WILL REALIZE THAT.
OK???

YOU HAVE FRIENDS?
LET ME GUESS: THEY ALL LIVE IN THIS FUN FUCKING PALACE CALLED YOUR *~*IMAGINATION*~*!!!!!

HARLEY.
IN CASE NOBODY HAS EVER INFORMED YOU ABOUT IT BEFORE, BUT SERKET IS A GRADE A PSYCHOPATH. SHE IS LITERALLY INSANE AND IS PRONE TO BOUTS OF LITERAL, MURDEROUS RAGE.
I ADVISE THAT YOU STAY FAR, FAR AWAY FROM HER.
IF YOU NEED A TROLL TO HANG OUT WITH, I WILL REITERATE THAT I AM FUCKING OPEN TO FULFILLING ALL YOUR HANGING OUT NEEDS, SO LONG AS IT ENTAILS NOTHING PARTICULARLY STUPID THAT WILL DAMPEN THE INTEGRITY OF MY PERSON.

HUH.
I GUESS YOU'RE *NOT* A DOUCHEBAG STUCK IN THE ON POSITION.

Not all the time.
Any other time, yes.

Also, your plea for Conquest to win?
Shit doesn't fly half the time.
Pay attention to their players numbnuts.

SEE, THERE'S A DRASTIC DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO OF US:
I'M TAKING ACTION. MEANWHILE, YOU'RE SITTING THERE WITH YOUR FOOT IN YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE, SCOLDING ME FOR BROADCASTING A METHOD THAT YOU DON'T APPROVE OF! WHY DON'T YOU GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT, BULGEFUCK, AND STOP WASTING MY VALUABLE TIME

My friends are plenty real. And do you have friends or did you just start hanging out with a group of people and they tolerate you because they're too nice?

it's been a very short period of time and i'm already growing frustrated with the memory loss aspect of this world.
i don't remember an excess of ornery text at home. nor do i know how one capitalizes on a keyboard. i always assumed it was not an embedded function.
i'll begin brainstorming heavily dignified nicknames.

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU FUCKING FORGOT
HOLY SHIT, HOW MANY TIMES DO I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU??

OK. GOOD.

I SO DO HAVE FUCKING FRIENDS.

SCROLL UP. I HAVE A PLETHORA OF FRIENDS FIGHTING FOR THE CHANCE TO USE ME AS A WEAPON.

Maybe they just want to seriously injure you. If your weapon breaks you fall into a coma and then you can't yell at people.

perhaps infinitely, if the memory loss aspect of this world is one of my lost memories.
you could be the recursive reminder.

OH FUCK THIS, I DON'T CARE.

RECURSIVE REMINDER ISN'T A GOOD NICKNAME, YOU SHIT.

YEAH NO, THEY'RE HARMLESS.
YOU KNOW THE EGBERTS AND HARLEY?
THEY'RE SO ADORABLE, IT MAKES ME WANT TO EMPTY THE CONTENTS OF MY DIGESTIVE SYSTEM.
AND STUPID, BECAUSE WHY ELSE WOULD THEY HANG OUT WITH ME?

you do not care for the alliteration.
pity. my next option was to call you the grammatical guru.
perhaps you would prefer to be dubbed the welcoming committee.
you seem to be rather skilled in that aspect. it would be remiss of me to fail to note that in my rechristening of your nominal existence.

OKAY, FUCK, WHATEVER GETS YOUR EXHAUSTED CEREBRAL CORTEX OFF.
BESIDES, THERE COULD BE WORST NICKNAMES OUT THERE SO WELCOMING COMMITTEE OR "WC" IT IS.

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[city-wide network post][karkat shut up: memo 3]

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text; i am A+ with keeping up with tags!!!

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