Karkat Vantas - carcinoGeneticist (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
threshprinceoffuckyou) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rakuen2012-02-06 01:13 am
threshprinceoffuckyou) wrote in rakuen2012-02-06 01:13 am
[city wide network post: look who got a pda][jaws theme][karkat shut up]
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened memo RAUNCHY RAINBOW ASSHOLE SESSION --
IT FINALLY HAPPENED.
IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED!
ROUND UP YOUR LITTLE NEWS SCUTTLEBUGS, VARIOUS PRINTING PRESSES AND EVERY FORM OF THINKABLE MEDIA
GATHER UP YOUR BELOVED AND HATED ONES AROUND THE EARTH FIRE
BECAUSE IT IS WITH A HEAVY HEART AND A CONSTIPATED EXPRESSION THAT I PRESENT TO YOU "THE NEWS"
KARKAT VANTAS HAS OFFICIALLY LOST HIS MIND!
IT TOOK HIM *THIS* LONG?
APPARENTLY, GIVE THE TROLL A PRIZE
YOU’D THINK THE FACT THAT HE CURSED HIS SUBORDINATES BY ACTIVATING A FILE, FUCKED HIS SESSION SIDEWAYS, WATCHED HELPLESSLY AS HIS TEAM CRUMBLED APART BEFORE HIS VERY EYES AND MURDERED EACH OTHER AND SENTENCED HIS NEW ALIEN PALS TO DAMNATION BY GIVING THEIR (SPOILER ALERT!!) UNIVERSE CANCER WOULD’VE DONE IT
BUT NOPE
WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT THAT THE THING, THE ONE MINISCULE THING THAT WOULD PUSH HIM OFF THE EDGE OF SANITY INTO TEREZI’S PERSONAL GAME PARLOR, WOULD BE A DOUCHEBAG WITH PURSED LIPS AND A SUPER FLIGHTY BROAD DEBASING HIM IN FRONT OF HIS TEAM???
YEAH THAT WAS KIND OF A WILD CARD ENDING, HUH.
BEFORE ANY OF YOU NOOKWADS MAKE A MORONIC STATEMENT ABOUT HOW I AM APPARENTLY NOT FUCKING INSANE THEN LET’S CONSIDER THE OTHER POSSIBILITIES SHALL WE?
POSSIBILITY A: THE MORE LIKELY POSSIBILITY OTHER THAN INSANITY. I AM IN A FUCKING DREAMBUBBLE. HOLY MILKBEAST, BATMAN, WHAT A RELIEF! HOW ENJOYABLE IT IS FOR ME TO LAY UNCONSCIOUS ON TOP OF A PILE OF HARD-EDGED OBJECTS WHILE HORRORTERRORS VIOLATE MY YOUNG SUPPLE FLESH AND TEASE FORTH THE GENETIC MATERIAL FROM MY FREAKY ALIEN GENITALIA. THANK YOU, HORRORTERROS, BECAUSE MY SHAME GLOBES NEEDED A NEW MATESPRIT. THEY'RE NOT IN VERY GOOD TERMS WITH MY RIGHT CLAW RIGHT NOW!
POSSIBILITY B: THIS IS ALL FUCKING REAL.
HA HA HA HA HA
LOOK AT THESE QUIRKY WORDS SPEWING FORTH FROM MY ABSURDITY PALATE
BECAUSE THIS PLACE MAKES SO MUCH SENSE WITHIN THE CONTINUITY OF TIME/SPACE
LET ME WRITE ALL OF THIS DOWN FOR MY NEXT BOOK "THE MULTIVERSE: A DUMBASS'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY" WHERE I WILL BE LAUDED THE NEXT TROLL ALBERT EINSTEIN.
...
OK THE POSSIBILITY THAT THIS IS REAL IS STILL THERE AND IT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW.
TROLLS AND HUMANS THAT I KNOW, REPORT IN.
IF YOU DON’T REPORT IN AND YOU ARE ACTUALLY, IN FACT, IN THIS PLACE, WHATEVER IT IS, THEN LET ME JUST SAY YOU ARE GETTING A HEAPING DOSE OF "HAHAHA WOW" AND A SIDE ORDER OF "FUCK YOU AND JUST REPORT IN, YOU MENTALLY DEFICIENT PIECE OF SHIT."
FYI I AM PRESENTLY HELD HOSTAGE AT THE CAMPUS KNOWN AS "CONQUEST", HUNCHED SURREPTITIOUSLY WHILE I USE MY SHITTY NEW PDA AS MY PEERS PASS ME BY WITH HATEFUL JUDGMENT IN THEIR EYES.
IS THERE A MORE CONVENIENT COMMUNICATING DEVICE (A.K.A. HUSKTOP) BECAUSE THIS IS SHIT
NO, MY BAD, THIS IS THE SHIT SHIT *EATS*.
P.S. WHAT *ON EARTH* (LITERALLY) ARE BALLS
WHY ARE THEY REQUIRED TO DESCEND
DOES SANTANA HAVE THEM
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY IS SHE USING THEM TO ESTABLISH SUPERIORITY OVER ME
IT FINALLY HAPPENED.
IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED!
ROUND UP YOUR LITTLE NEWS SCUTTLEBUGS, VARIOUS PRINTING PRESSES AND EVERY FORM OF THINKABLE MEDIA
GATHER UP YOUR BELOVED AND HATED ONES AROUND THE EARTH FIRE
BECAUSE IT IS WITH A HEAVY HEART AND A CONSTIPATED EXPRESSION THAT I PRESENT TO YOU "THE NEWS"
KARKAT VANTAS HAS OFFICIALLY LOST HIS MIND!
IT TOOK HIM *THIS* LONG?
APPARENTLY, GIVE THE TROLL A PRIZE
YOU’D THINK THE FACT THAT HE CURSED HIS SUBORDINATES BY ACTIVATING A FILE, FUCKED HIS SESSION SIDEWAYS, WATCHED HELPLESSLY AS HIS TEAM CRUMBLED APART BEFORE HIS VERY EYES AND MURDERED EACH OTHER AND SENTENCED HIS NEW ALIEN PALS TO DAMNATION BY GIVING THEIR (SPOILER ALERT!!) UNIVERSE CANCER WOULD’VE DONE IT
BUT NOPE
WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT THAT THE THING, THE ONE MINISCULE THING THAT WOULD PUSH HIM OFF THE EDGE OF SANITY INTO TEREZI’S PERSONAL GAME PARLOR, WOULD BE A DOUCHEBAG WITH PURSED LIPS AND A SUPER FLIGHTY BROAD DEBASING HIM IN FRONT OF HIS TEAM???
YEAH THAT WAS KIND OF A WILD CARD ENDING, HUH.
BEFORE ANY OF YOU NOOKWADS MAKE A MORONIC STATEMENT ABOUT HOW I AM APPARENTLY NOT FUCKING INSANE THEN LET’S CONSIDER THE OTHER POSSIBILITIES SHALL WE?
POSSIBILITY A: THE MORE LIKELY POSSIBILITY OTHER THAN INSANITY. I AM IN A FUCKING DREAMBUBBLE. HOLY MILKBEAST, BATMAN, WHAT A RELIEF! HOW ENJOYABLE IT IS FOR ME TO LAY UNCONSCIOUS ON TOP OF A PILE OF HARD-EDGED OBJECTS WHILE HORRORTERRORS VIOLATE MY YOUNG SUPPLE FLESH AND TEASE FORTH THE GENETIC MATERIAL FROM MY FREAKY ALIEN GENITALIA. THANK YOU, HORRORTERROS, BECAUSE MY SHAME GLOBES NEEDED A NEW MATESPRIT. THEY'RE NOT IN VERY GOOD TERMS WITH MY RIGHT CLAW RIGHT NOW!
POSSIBILITY B: THIS IS ALL FUCKING REAL.
HA HA HA HA HA
LOOK AT THESE QUIRKY WORDS SPEWING FORTH FROM MY ABSURDITY PALATE
BECAUSE THIS PLACE MAKES SO MUCH SENSE WITHIN THE CONTINUITY OF TIME/SPACE
LET ME WRITE ALL OF THIS DOWN FOR MY NEXT BOOK "THE MULTIVERSE: A DUMBASS'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY" WHERE I WILL BE LAUDED THE NEXT TROLL ALBERT EINSTEIN.
...
OK THE POSSIBILITY THAT THIS IS REAL IS STILL THERE AND IT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW.
TROLLS AND HUMANS THAT I KNOW, REPORT IN.
IF YOU DON’T REPORT IN AND YOU ARE ACTUALLY, IN FACT, IN THIS PLACE, WHATEVER IT IS, THEN LET ME JUST SAY YOU ARE GETTING A HEAPING DOSE OF "HAHAHA WOW" AND A SIDE ORDER OF "FUCK YOU AND JUST REPORT IN, YOU MENTALLY DEFICIENT PIECE OF SHIT."
FYI I AM PRESENTLY HELD HOSTAGE AT THE CAMPUS KNOWN AS "CONQUEST", HUNCHED SURREPTITIOUSLY WHILE I USE MY SHITTY NEW PDA AS MY PEERS PASS ME BY WITH HATEFUL JUDGMENT IN THEIR EYES.
IS THERE A MORE CONVENIENT COMMUNICATING DEVICE (A.K.A. HUSKTOP) BECAUSE THIS IS SHIT
NO, MY BAD, THIS IS THE SHIT SHIT *EATS*.
P.S. WHAT *ON EARTH* (LITERALLY) ARE BALLS
WHY ARE THEY REQUIRED TO DESCEND
DOES SANTANA HAVE THEM
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY IS SHE USING THEM TO ESTABLISH SUPERIORITY OVER ME
this is a thing of beauty
CAG: TL;DR.
CAG: Seriously, Vantas? You're in a place you don't recognize and your first inclin8tion is to put up a memo????????
CAG: I'm em8arrassed to call you our gr8 leader. Which, 8y the way, you still really suck at.
blushes demurely
STFU!!!!!!
I AM ORGANIZED
I AM IN CONTROL
SO EXCUSE ME IF MY FIRST INCLINATION ISN'T TO HARASS AND MANIPULATE EVERY LIVING THING UNDER THE SUN, BECAUSE *SOMEONE* HAS TO GATHER UP THE LITTLE OINKBEASTS BEFORE THEY TERRORIZE THE VILLAGE.
eyebrow wiggle
Always too little, too l8.
So pathetic.
swoons +u+
TELL ME: SINCE *WHEN*.
DO YOU NOT THINK BEFORE YOU TALK? OOPS, BROUGHT UP A SENSITIVE ISSUE, OF COURSE YOU DON'T.
INFORM ME ABOUT YOUR TIMELINE, SHITFUCK.
look at all this swag i have
Chill out, Vantas. You're em8arrassing us in front of the humans.
And that's really none of your 8usiness, nookstain!
8esides, it doesn't even matter here so don't worry your stu88y little horns a8out it.
faints in your dashing arms
HOW ARE YOU THIS IDIOTIC??????
*I AM YOUR FUCKING LEADER.*
I DEMAND YOU FUCKING TELL ME INSTEAD OF BEING AN ELUSIVE LITTLE SHIT BECAUSE I NEED TO KEEP TRACK OF EVERYONE'S TIMELINES HERE.
FOR ONCE, SOMEBODY NEEDS TO BE ORGANIZED.
<3
Oh please! Would you just get over yourself?
We only let you 8e the leader so you would shut your trap long enough to get anything done.
News flash! It dooooooooesn't matter anymore. Not here anyway.
May8e I'll tell you l8r. May8e not! Who knows? You don't. :::;)
<333
IF WE STOP THE THIS *VERY EFFECTIVE SYSTEM* OF AUTHORITY, SHIT IS GOING TO FALL APART FASTER THAN EGBERT'S ABYSMAL COGNITIVE PROCESS.
STOP BEING COY AND TELL ME SO I CAN FILL YOU IN WITH WHAT YOU HAVE TO KNOW.
<33333333
It would just 8e easier!
And I just love it when you 8ore me with paragraph after paragraph of shitty grey text.
So get to it, Karkat! I'm w8ing.
oh my god typoing everywhere
I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
BUT YOU HAVE INFORMATION THAT I NEED.
NOW I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY NOR ANY PATIENCE TO SPEAK OF.
WHAT I DO HAVE IS A VERY SPECIAL SET OF SKILLS.
IF YOU TELL ME WHAT I WANT, THAT WILL BE THE END OF IT.
BUT IF YOU DON'T.
I WILL FIND YOU.
AND I WILL MAKE YOU TELL ME.
me too it's an ongoing problem askdkajs
What's the 8ig deal?
8y the way, that 8argain sucks. Why would anyone 8e stupid enough to agree to it?
Tick tock, Vantas. It's rude to keep a lady w8ing. What's the last thing you remem8er?
no subject
SEE, THAT'S FAIR
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Maaaaaaaay8e not. It depends on what you remem8er, 8rave leader.
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IT'S EITHER A YES OR A NO BECAUSE YOU ARE WASTING MY FUCKING TIME WITH YOUR OBTUSE, BITCHY BITCH BITCH SELF
no subject
It depends on what you know. I don't want to spoil you for any gr8 surprises there might 8e in the future.
no subject
TRUST ME, THERE IS NO WAY YOU'D BE
AHEAD OF ME.
no subject
So you know I'm dead. That saves me a lot of trou8le.
no subject
I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING SAY THIS AGAIN
SINCE WE WERE NEVER FRIENDS OR ANYTHING
BUT I'M SORRY I FAILED YOU AS A LEADER.
no subject
I don't know why you're choosing to apologize a8out this specific failure of yours in a long, long, incredi8ly long list of fuck ups.
no subject
NO WONDER DEATH SHAT YOU OUT AND DRAGGED YOU TO THIS PLACE.
CONGRATULATIONS, SERKET.
EVEN DEATH IS REPULSED BY YOU.
THAT IS A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF BITCHINESS!
YOU REALLY DO DREAM BIG.
no subject
What does that say a8out you then? Life was so repulsed 8y you and your 8ullshit that it dropped you here to have to gru8sit your "lackeys" again?
Sucks to 8e you!!!!!!!!
no subject
CALLING YOU MY LACKEYS WOULD IMPLY YOU ASSHOLES BENEFIT ME IN SOME WAY, SOMEHOW.
NO.
TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, I AM YOUR STEPLUSUS.
I THINK IT'S THAT TIME OF THE DAY THAT I SHOULD START LOOKING AT MY LIFE AND MY CHOICES AGAIN.
no subject
Do you think you could have 8eat the 8lack King without my help and incredi8le luck? I don't think so!
I don't even want to think a8out would it would actually 8e like if you were my lusus. I pro8a8ly would have culled myself just to end the misery.
no subject
LETTING THAT GO.
DEFEATING THE BLACK KING WAS A BIG TEAM EFFORT AND ALL YOU DID WAS FLUSH DOWN HIS REMAINING HEALTH.
YOU ARE FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE.
no subject
Why don't you make up your mind and get 8ack to me when you've actually thought through your insults? Everyone would really appreci8 it. ::::)
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