Karkat Vantas - carcinoGeneticist (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
threshprinceoffuckyou) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rakuen2012-02-06 01:13 am
threshprinceoffuckyou) wrote in rakuen2012-02-06 01:13 am
[city wide network post: look who got a pda][jaws theme][karkat shut up]
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened memo RAUNCHY RAINBOW ASSHOLE SESSION --
IT FINALLY HAPPENED.
IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED!
ROUND UP YOUR LITTLE NEWS SCUTTLEBUGS, VARIOUS PRINTING PRESSES AND EVERY FORM OF THINKABLE MEDIA
GATHER UP YOUR BELOVED AND HATED ONES AROUND THE EARTH FIRE
BECAUSE IT IS WITH A HEAVY HEART AND A CONSTIPATED EXPRESSION THAT I PRESENT TO YOU "THE NEWS"
KARKAT VANTAS HAS OFFICIALLY LOST HIS MIND!
IT TOOK HIM *THIS* LONG?
APPARENTLY, GIVE THE TROLL A PRIZE
YOU’D THINK THE FACT THAT HE CURSED HIS SUBORDINATES BY ACTIVATING A FILE, FUCKED HIS SESSION SIDEWAYS, WATCHED HELPLESSLY AS HIS TEAM CRUMBLED APART BEFORE HIS VERY EYES AND MURDERED EACH OTHER AND SENTENCED HIS NEW ALIEN PALS TO DAMNATION BY GIVING THEIR (SPOILER ALERT!!) UNIVERSE CANCER WOULD’VE DONE IT
BUT NOPE
WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT THAT THE THING, THE ONE MINISCULE THING THAT WOULD PUSH HIM OFF THE EDGE OF SANITY INTO TEREZI’S PERSONAL GAME PARLOR, WOULD BE A DOUCHEBAG WITH PURSED LIPS AND A SUPER FLIGHTY BROAD DEBASING HIM IN FRONT OF HIS TEAM???
YEAH THAT WAS KIND OF A WILD CARD ENDING, HUH.
BEFORE ANY OF YOU NOOKWADS MAKE A MORONIC STATEMENT ABOUT HOW I AM APPARENTLY NOT FUCKING INSANE THEN LET’S CONSIDER THE OTHER POSSIBILITIES SHALL WE?
POSSIBILITY A: THE MORE LIKELY POSSIBILITY OTHER THAN INSANITY. I AM IN A FUCKING DREAMBUBBLE. HOLY MILKBEAST, BATMAN, WHAT A RELIEF! HOW ENJOYABLE IT IS FOR ME TO LAY UNCONSCIOUS ON TOP OF A PILE OF HARD-EDGED OBJECTS WHILE HORRORTERRORS VIOLATE MY YOUNG SUPPLE FLESH AND TEASE FORTH THE GENETIC MATERIAL FROM MY FREAKY ALIEN GENITALIA. THANK YOU, HORRORTERROS, BECAUSE MY SHAME GLOBES NEEDED A NEW MATESPRIT. THEY'RE NOT IN VERY GOOD TERMS WITH MY RIGHT CLAW RIGHT NOW!
POSSIBILITY B: THIS IS ALL FUCKING REAL.
HA HA HA HA HA
LOOK AT THESE QUIRKY WORDS SPEWING FORTH FROM MY ABSURDITY PALATE
BECAUSE THIS PLACE MAKES SO MUCH SENSE WITHIN THE CONTINUITY OF TIME/SPACE
LET ME WRITE ALL OF THIS DOWN FOR MY NEXT BOOK "THE MULTIVERSE: A DUMBASS'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY" WHERE I WILL BE LAUDED THE NEXT TROLL ALBERT EINSTEIN.
...
OK THE POSSIBILITY THAT THIS IS REAL IS STILL THERE AND IT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW.
TROLLS AND HUMANS THAT I KNOW, REPORT IN.
IF YOU DON’T REPORT IN AND YOU ARE ACTUALLY, IN FACT, IN THIS PLACE, WHATEVER IT IS, THEN LET ME JUST SAY YOU ARE GETTING A HEAPING DOSE OF "HAHAHA WOW" AND A SIDE ORDER OF "FUCK YOU AND JUST REPORT IN, YOU MENTALLY DEFICIENT PIECE OF SHIT."
FYI I AM PRESENTLY HELD HOSTAGE AT THE CAMPUS KNOWN AS "CONQUEST", HUNCHED SURREPTITIOUSLY WHILE I USE MY SHITTY NEW PDA AS MY PEERS PASS ME BY WITH HATEFUL JUDGMENT IN THEIR EYES.
IS THERE A MORE CONVENIENT COMMUNICATING DEVICE (A.K.A. HUSKTOP) BECAUSE THIS IS SHIT
NO, MY BAD, THIS IS THE SHIT SHIT *EATS*.
P.S. WHAT *ON EARTH* (LITERALLY) ARE BALLS
WHY ARE THEY REQUIRED TO DESCEND
DOES SANTANA HAVE THEM
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY IS SHE USING THEM TO ESTABLISH SUPERIORITY OVER ME
IT FINALLY HAPPENED.
IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED!
ROUND UP YOUR LITTLE NEWS SCUTTLEBUGS, VARIOUS PRINTING PRESSES AND EVERY FORM OF THINKABLE MEDIA
GATHER UP YOUR BELOVED AND HATED ONES AROUND THE EARTH FIRE
BECAUSE IT IS WITH A HEAVY HEART AND A CONSTIPATED EXPRESSION THAT I PRESENT TO YOU "THE NEWS"
KARKAT VANTAS HAS OFFICIALLY LOST HIS MIND!
IT TOOK HIM *THIS* LONG?
APPARENTLY, GIVE THE TROLL A PRIZE
YOU’D THINK THE FACT THAT HE CURSED HIS SUBORDINATES BY ACTIVATING A FILE, FUCKED HIS SESSION SIDEWAYS, WATCHED HELPLESSLY AS HIS TEAM CRUMBLED APART BEFORE HIS VERY EYES AND MURDERED EACH OTHER AND SENTENCED HIS NEW ALIEN PALS TO DAMNATION BY GIVING THEIR (SPOILER ALERT!!) UNIVERSE CANCER WOULD’VE DONE IT
BUT NOPE
WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT THAT THE THING, THE ONE MINISCULE THING THAT WOULD PUSH HIM OFF THE EDGE OF SANITY INTO TEREZI’S PERSONAL GAME PARLOR, WOULD BE A DOUCHEBAG WITH PURSED LIPS AND A SUPER FLIGHTY BROAD DEBASING HIM IN FRONT OF HIS TEAM???
YEAH THAT WAS KIND OF A WILD CARD ENDING, HUH.
BEFORE ANY OF YOU NOOKWADS MAKE A MORONIC STATEMENT ABOUT HOW I AM APPARENTLY NOT FUCKING INSANE THEN LET’S CONSIDER THE OTHER POSSIBILITIES SHALL WE?
POSSIBILITY A: THE MORE LIKELY POSSIBILITY OTHER THAN INSANITY. I AM IN A FUCKING DREAMBUBBLE. HOLY MILKBEAST, BATMAN, WHAT A RELIEF! HOW ENJOYABLE IT IS FOR ME TO LAY UNCONSCIOUS ON TOP OF A PILE OF HARD-EDGED OBJECTS WHILE HORRORTERRORS VIOLATE MY YOUNG SUPPLE FLESH AND TEASE FORTH THE GENETIC MATERIAL FROM MY FREAKY ALIEN GENITALIA. THANK YOU, HORRORTERROS, BECAUSE MY SHAME GLOBES NEEDED A NEW MATESPRIT. THEY'RE NOT IN VERY GOOD TERMS WITH MY RIGHT CLAW RIGHT NOW!
POSSIBILITY B: THIS IS ALL FUCKING REAL.
HA HA HA HA HA
LOOK AT THESE QUIRKY WORDS SPEWING FORTH FROM MY ABSURDITY PALATE
BECAUSE THIS PLACE MAKES SO MUCH SENSE WITHIN THE CONTINUITY OF TIME/SPACE
LET ME WRITE ALL OF THIS DOWN FOR MY NEXT BOOK "THE MULTIVERSE: A DUMBASS'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY" WHERE I WILL BE LAUDED THE NEXT TROLL ALBERT EINSTEIN.
...
OK THE POSSIBILITY THAT THIS IS REAL IS STILL THERE AND IT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW.
TROLLS AND HUMANS THAT I KNOW, REPORT IN.
IF YOU DON’T REPORT IN AND YOU ARE ACTUALLY, IN FACT, IN THIS PLACE, WHATEVER IT IS, THEN LET ME JUST SAY YOU ARE GETTING A HEAPING DOSE OF "HAHAHA WOW" AND A SIDE ORDER OF "FUCK YOU AND JUST REPORT IN, YOU MENTALLY DEFICIENT PIECE OF SHIT."
FYI I AM PRESENTLY HELD HOSTAGE AT THE CAMPUS KNOWN AS "CONQUEST", HUNCHED SURREPTITIOUSLY WHILE I USE MY SHITTY NEW PDA AS MY PEERS PASS ME BY WITH HATEFUL JUDGMENT IN THEIR EYES.
IS THERE A MORE CONVENIENT COMMUNICATING DEVICE (A.K.A. HUSKTOP) BECAUSE THIS IS SHIT
NO, MY BAD, THIS IS THE SHIT SHIT *EATS*.
P.S. WHAT *ON EARTH* (LITERALLY) ARE BALLS
WHY ARE THEY REQUIRED TO DESCEND
DOES SANTANA HAVE THEM
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY IS SHE USING THEM TO ESTABLISH SUPERIORITY OVER ME
STOP DELETING THINGS KARI I AM TRYING TO THREADJACK
there are
two of you?
D:
no subject
THERE IS ONE OF "ME"
AND ONE OF "THE UNSPEAKABLE FAILURE THAT COULD POTENTIALLY GROW UP TO BE ME."
OR, MORE LIKELY
"THE UNSPEAKABLE FAILURE THAT HAS SOMEHOW TAKEN ON THE SISYPHEAN FUCKING TASK OF BEING WORSE THAN ME."
HE IS HANDLING IT LIKE A GODDAMN CHAMP.
YOU GO, LITTLE FUCKASS!
KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT
MAYBE SOMEDAY, YOU'LL WIN A LITTLE CONSOLATION PRIZE
A TINY LITTLE CULLING FORK TO REFLECT ON
WHEN YOU THINK TO YOURSELF HOW UTTERLY MEANINGLESS YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN.
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYONE WITH YOUR BLOOD COLOR YET.
no subject
that is even worse :(
i um
i am jade
you are the gray troll
the one that kept bothering me and i could not get to go away
you were mean :(
no subject
I THINK I UNDERSTAND HOW THIS WORKS.
CONGRATULATIONS, "JADE," EVERYTHING WILL SOON BE CLEAR.
JUST SHUT UP AND PREPARE TO BE SCHOOLFED.
(SINCE EVIDENTLY, THAT IS THE VOCATION FOISTED UPON ME THIS TIME.)
I AM ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT I HAVE NEVER TALKED TO YOU BEFORE THIS.
AND FURTHER, I CAN SAY THAT, GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO TALK TO YOU
WERE YOU STANDING BEFORE ME AND WAVING FRANTICALLY
CALLING OUT MY NAME IN JOYOUS EXULTATION
IN SOME DESPERATE BID TO GRAB MY ATTENTION FOR WHATEVER REASON
I STILL WOULD NOT FEEL EVEN THE SLIGHTEST COMPULSION TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU.
YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY CONFUSING ME FOR MY YOUNGER, SHITTIER VARIANT.
HE DOES THINGS LIKE "INITIATE CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE WHEN IT'S NOT HIS FUCKING PLACE TO."
DOES THAT SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM, "JADE?"
ALSO ALL TROLLS ARE GRAY, DUMBSHIT
no subject
i mean, gray colored text
vriska says she is a troll and she types in blue
and my real name is jade
please do not put quotations around it :(
no subject
JADE IT IS.
ANY OTHER REQUESTS WHILE I'M TAKING ORDERS?
WOULD YOU PREFER AN APPELLATION OR TITLE, OR
HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE
DID YOU JUST SAY "VRISKA"
AS IN "VRISKA SERKET".
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ME THAT WASN'T WHAT YOU JUST SAID.
MAYBE THE SYSTEM SPONTANEOUSLY UNLOADED THAT AWFUL COMBINATION OF LETTERS.
OR MAYBE I'VE JUST DIED AND GONE TO SOME AFTERLIFE MONITORED BY A VENGEFUL ASSHOLE OF A DIVINE BEING.
I'M STARTING TO THINK THE LATTER, AGAINST ALL ODDS, ACTUALLY HAS SOME WEIGHT TO IT.
no subject
yes i said vriska
is she bad.......? :(
no subject
THERE IS ONLY ONE OF ME.
THE OTHER ONE IS A MUTANT BLOODED JACKASS
HE KEEPS HARASSING ME FOR GOD KNOWS WHY.
HE HAS BEEN A CONSPICUOUS, METER LONG THORN LODGED NEATLY INTO MY SIDE AND IT'S INFURIATING.
*IT'S INFURIATING*.
JADE, YOU SAD EXCUSE FOR AN EVOLVED MONKEY, RESPOND TO THE MEMO PROPERLY.
THIS IS MY MEMO.
THESE ARE MY RULES.
no subject
but you both type the same.......
no
not if you call me mean names
i refuse to respond to the memo properly because you are mean
four months without you was so nice :(
no subject
HE'S OBVIOUSLY JUST JEALOUS OF MY GOOD LOOKS AND CHARM.
OH GOD, IS THIS WAY INTO THE PAST HARLEY, BECAUSE AUGH
I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS SHIT AGAIN
WE WERE ALREADY FINE FROM WHERE I CAME FROM.
BUT SINCE I DON'T HAVE PAST ME HERE TO MAN UP AND ACTUALLY BEFRIEND YOU THEN I'LL HAVE TO DO IT
EVEN THOUGH I REALLY DON'T WANT TO!
BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST SO FUCKING IMPORTANT TO ME
I'M SORRY FOR CALLING YOU NAMES.
ARE WE OK NOW???????
no subject
no subject
SHOULD I REPEAT MYSELF LIKE A GODDAMN BROKEN RECORD HARLEY
BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T WANT TO!
no subject
i just find it really hard to believe
but......
i guess i can accept that you are not as bad as you seemed at home
so okay :)
no subject
no subject