the most wonderful class of the year

[themidwife]

Characters: The Midwife... and YOU. (If you're a Fortitude student. Or if you sneak in I guess WHO KNOWS.)
Format: Action. Please, god.
This log is: open.
Location: In his classroom.
Summary: Day X of Sex Ed with Professor Midwife.
Warnings: Language and lots of screaming while talking about reproductive processes.

[ For once, Professor Midwife isn't sitting at the front desk before class. No questions can be fielded; there will be no assistance regarding romantic entanglements of any quadrant or general life lessons regarding survival. In fact, judging from his track record the first week, it's a safe guess that he might not be coming at all- ]

-uuuuuuuckiiiiiiiiing-

[ -OH WHOOPS THAT DOOR SURE DID JUST SLAM THE FUCK OPEN. The skinny troll stomps in almost sluggishly, a cup of some coffee-like sludge cradled in his hands, delicately sets down his drink, and collapses into his chair. For a moment, there is blissful silence from the candyblood's mouth - he just sits there, sipping at his beverage and massaging his temples.

And then the clock ticks one last time, the bell rings, and he surges upward, belting with a voice that should not come out of a body that size: ]

ALRIGHT, YOU MANGY LITTLE SLURRYSLURPERS. CLASS IS IN SESSION.

[ He points to a student, chosen at random. ]

YOU. Where the fuck did this class get to yesterday?

[ midwife maybe not having a lesson plan of any sort makes keeping track of these things difficult
maybe you should actually get your shit together
how about that midwife

yeah it was worth a try at least ]

Comments

[bloodandfire]

[Oh! She didn't expect to be put on the spot like that!]

[she has no answer prepared]

Your last lesson was so convoluted I could not tell you where we left off.

[this is obviously the best class]

[kissmyglass]

[...Well.

Kanako flashes him a smile and speaks in her usual sickeningly sweet manner.]

Ah, why does it matter where we got yesterday? You could just start on something new today if you don't remember.

[knightime]

[Why is he doing to this class? Why is he subjecting himself to this?

Dave stares at him blankly. Mostly because, did the other expect him to answer that in anyway?

Dave just gives Karkat a nonchalant shrug, staring ever so blankly at him.

If you can even tell with the sunglasses.]

[pencilpremonition]

You were gonna show us a porno.

[COMPLETELY deadpan. And yes, she would say that regardless of whether or not it was true.]

[greenspaces]

Um.

[ oh god he's still scary ]

[allurprincess]

Ah.... [ oh he's pointing at her SHE HAS NO IDEA. ]

Wasn't it something about diamonds?

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

[This was the very last place he ever wanted to be. Ever. The fact that the first thing this teacher did was start yelling was rather unsettling as well. He just sat there, trying to look as small as he possibly could.]