Movovie Night

[fracturedsoul]

Characters: Everyone
Format: Whichever you prefer
This log is: open
Location: Rakuen Public Library's media viewing room
Summary: Dirk shows off some 21st century cinematic masterpieces.
Warnings: Horrible movies. Swearing from Striders. The usual.

The time has come. Seven o'clock on the dot and Dirk is standing at the front of the viewing room in the city library to one side of the screen which is currently tuned to static, remote control in one of his hands.

There's plenty of room for everyone who shows up. The accommodations are a bit more classroom-like than he'd have liked -- tables and chairs for everyone to sit at -- but scattered about are some snacks and drinks he's scavenged from the Fortitude cafeteria.

Sit down. Watch these films. There are ten of them, and Dirk can go all night.

Comments

SEVEN O'CLOCK

[fracturedsoul]

The movies begin.

There's really not much to say about them. Imagine this comic strip, in movie form, starring Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller, and featuring Donald Glover (and then, in the films made after his assassination, a cardboard cutout of Donald Glover). They contain music that, at points, sounds something like this.

(When asked about the plot of SBAHJ the Moive, Andrew Hussie had this to say:

I don't know, but I think plot is probably the wrong word.

Opening the film with a ten minute montage of bro falling down some stairs would probably be the conservative approach. Just some really solid stage setting, established in classical film making tradition to butter up the critics. It also clearly sets up a strong antagonist for the moive, stairs. It is a foe which is never bested, for you see, the film is an American tragedy.

Other than that, probably lots of profane non sequitur and hug bumps issued by Wilson and Stiller, who will have been heavily coached in their acting to achieve a sort of rigid, surrealistic demeanor just off the mark of any heretofore observed human behavior. Like the uncanny valley of mannerism. Lace heavily with artifacts, visual and audible, and don't be surprised if at some point a 20 minute clip of a completely different movie is inserted, uncut, flipped vertically, and tortured with various Photoshop filters. Finally, the climax will be the stunning resolution to a series of dilemmas not previously introduced in the film, all of which center around the inability of either character to perform simple motor functions. Then we see oversaturated low quality footage of Tony Hawk doing grinds while the credits roll, which contain not a single word which isn't "fuck."

So yeah, they're pretty much shit.)

(Reply to this thread directly to converse with Dirk during the movies; otherwise, feel free to start new threads for mingling and reacting to the horror on-screen.)

Re: SEVEN O'CLOCK

[greenspaces]

She's star-struck by the movie, watching the actors fall down the stairs again and again, and even the random photoshop filters. Eventually she elbows Dirk to ask an important question.

"Was this made by Dave?"

[fracturedsoul]

There's a small grin on Dirk's face when she asks that.

"Yeah. By the Dave from my side of the Scratch."

[greenspaces]

"So he's your Bro? Does that mean he's cooler over there?"

[fracturedsoul]

"Yeah, but that's not hard. Your Dave's a total dork." But he says it with love. "I call him my bro, but it's more complicated than that. I can explain later when we're not in the middle of this."

Re: SEVEN O'CLOCK

[dr4gonst4ff]

[The only reason she's here is that she heard a movie. Now she's watching it.. and so confused.]

Hey! You! You are the one playing this movie, correct? What on earth am I watching? [She's figured out how to make a >:? face and she's using it right now. She's also speaking much too loudly to be polite.]

[fracturedsoul]

[ It doesn't really matter if she's being loud; Dirk's not going to shush her. ]

This? It's Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff the Moive. [ No, he didn't stutter, and it's not French. ] A piece of cinematic artwork from my universe.

[dr4gonst4ff]

Artwork? [Well okay.] It smells pretty shitty if you ask m--

[Oh hello shitty photoshop filters. SUDDENLY COLORS EVERYWHERE. And Terezi is now cackling.] Woah! I did not know it did that! Okay, this is great now, hehehe! [She will ignore non-existant plotline now, and acquire a state of sugar-highness known only to the Pyrope family.]

[fracturedsoul]

[ ...smells? Dirk arches an eyebrow in Terezi's direction. But hey, it looks like she's gaining an appreciation for it. ]

It does that and so much more. If you like that, just wait.

[knightime]

The right word for what Dave is feeling right now is overwhelmed. As in he's completely and utterly overwhelmed.

Seeing his comics turned into actual movies. Apparently movies that were incredibly influential and amazing (really, they're pretty much shit) was pretty mind boggling.

He had no idea how to react to this. Mostly, he didn't know how to react to it without looking like a completely uncool spaz. Or absconding. Shit. If he just sits here like a fucking rock, maybe that would work. That's a fucking dumb idea and he should feel ashamed for considering it. He should be trying to be all smug because hey, he's some super cool movie producer. Naw.

[fracturedsoul]

Dirk wasn't expecting anyone, not even Dave, to pick up on the oodles and oodles of symbolism interwoven into those hideous filters and artifacts. He knew that to anyone not in the loop the SBAHJ movies would just look like so much shit piled on top of festering shit.

Still, every so often he chanced a glance over at Dave to see how he was taking this. Completely motionless and cool? Prior to getting to know the kid, Dirk would have expected that from the younger version of his ancestor. Now, though, it strikes him as odd.

[knightime]

He just doesn't know how to react to it. You make a kid watch a movie like the shitty comic he drew just a year and tell him this made him famous and of course he's gonna lose all his shit.

Dave's shit is totally lost. He's pretty proud he didn't somehow flip out even if his mind is basically having it's own little war right now. He wants to comment on it, but that's like trying to comment on something you made. Except it's on the screen and not an webcomic.

[fracturedsoul]

Well, at least he's not fainting like the other Dave.

Once the "moive" is finished, there's a bathroom/eye-cleansing break. Dirk heads over to where Dave's sitting.

"So?"

[greenspaces]

Jade notices that Dave's not saying anything; she scoots over to wrap her arms around him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"These are good. Do you like them?"

[knightime]

He turns to look at Jade. Uh.

...Uh. What do you even say?

idk
tbh
like
its really cool
i mean to see this on the big screen
but at the same time its really weird
if i could talk
well shit i wouldnt be able to talk right now is what im getting at

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

[Alex doesn't want to be rude, and he's all the way across the room, and there's so many people here, so he's just going to send a text message to Dave when he sees that expression. It was very un-Dave of an expression. Un-Dave enough at least that Alex noticed.]

Dude, you're not having a seizure from all the flashing and bad animation, are you?

[knightime]

itd be pretty sad if i was having a seizure
cant even enjoy something i technically made
man
i sure do suffer for my art

[Even if it was in webcomic form and not...on a screen. In motion. Whatever.]

Re: SEVEN O'CLOCK

[goodboybestshot]

Oh, I should have known.

[BUT OH MAN. Jake is just going to go find a seat near Dirk and get right to watching. This is one of his favorites.]

[fracturedsoul]

[ Everything is one of Jake's favorites. But Dirk just smiles and hands over some popcorn. ]

I did make it pretty obvious.

[goodboybestshot]

You know me. Dumb as a bag of penny candy, sometimes.

[Oh yes, popcorn!! Jake will take a handful and start munching.]

Which one is this? I can't tell yet.

[savedbyasong]

So these were movies... Not really like theatre at all and all the colours made Shion's head hurt a bit. But he supposed they were good? He had nothing to compare them to anyways. He didn't understand what was going on, didn't Dirk say they were supposed to be a story?

But then again they were from Dave's world and he barely understood anything Dave said, so... these were probably cool or something. He sat smiling through them, trying to understand.

[fracturedsoul]

Once the first one is finished, there's an intermission to let people take bathroom breaks and have a brief rest from the visual vomit.

Dirk glances over to Shion as he swaps the Moive out for the the Film in the DVD player. "Enjoying yourself?"

[savedbyasong]

"Yes!" Shion smiled at him, "I have never seen anything like this before, though I didn't really understand it..."

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

"D-Don't worry, n-no movie is this bad. I-I'll show you some classics s-some time!" Because while he was actually sort of actually enjoying how terrible this was, it was also a little painful, and he really hoped that this was not Shion's first movie.

[savedbyasong]

"Classics?" Shion smiled at Alex, "I think they are good, but I've never seen any movies before. I don't really understand it though."