rakuen | Movovie Night

Entry tags:

Movovie Night

Characters: Everyone
Format: Whichever you prefer
This log is: open
Location: Rakuen Public Library's media viewing room
Summary: Dirk shows off some 21st century cinematic masterpieces.
Warnings: Horrible movies. Swearing from Striders. The usual.

The time has come. Seven o'clock on the dot and Dirk is standing at the front of the viewing room in the city library to one side of the screen which is currently tuned to static, remote control in one of his hands.

There's plenty of room for everyone who shows up. The accommodations are a bit more classroom-like than he'd have liked -- tables and chairs for everyone to sit at -- but scattered about are some snacks and drinks he's scavenged from the Fortitude cafeteria.

Sit down. Watch these films. There are ten of them, and Dirk can go all night.

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Dirk can be found setting things up in the viewing room. Care to bother him or, alternatively, lend a hand?

At about 6:45, he can be found sitting in a corner, asleep. Have to go find Jade and let her know it's time.

The movies begin.

There's really not much to say about them. Imagine this comic strip, in movie form, starring Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller, and featuring Donald Glover (and then, in the films made after his assassination, a cardboard cutout of Donald Glover). They contain music that, at points, sounds something like this.

(When asked about the plot of SBAHJ the Moive, Andrew Hussie had this to say:

I don't know, but I think plot is probably the wrong word.

Opening the film with a ten minute montage of bro falling down some stairs would probably be the conservative approach. Just some really solid stage setting, established in classical film making tradition to butter up the critics. It also clearly sets up a strong antagonist for the moive, stairs. It is a foe which is never bested, for you see, the film is an American tragedy.

Other than that, probably lots of profane non sequitur and hug bumps issued by Wilson and Stiller, who will have been heavily coached in their acting to achieve a sort of rigid, surrealistic demeanor just off the mark of any heretofore observed human behavior. Like the uncanny valley of mannerism. Lace heavily with artifacts, visual and audible, and don't be surprised if at some point a 20 minute clip of a completely different movie is inserted, uncut, flipped vertically, and tortured with various Photoshop filters. Finally, the climax will be the stunning resolution to a series of dilemmas not previously introduced in the film, all of which center around the inability of either character to perform simple motor functions. Then we see oversaturated low quality footage of Tony Hawk doing grinds while the credits roll, which contain not a single word which isn't "fuck."

So yeah, they're pretty much shit.)

(Reply to this thread directly to converse with Dirk during the movies; otherwise, feel free to start new threads for mingling and reacting to the horror on-screen.)

Edited 2012-06-13 23:27 (UTC)

Equius turns up with almost unnerving punctuality, and he's not even that damp or smelly. Yet. To properly show his noble and refined disdain for these human contrivances he's about to view, he takes a seat near the back, arms folded and expression suitably unimpressed behind his shades.

Ein had been in the library earlier, and in a maybe-rare fit of competence someone on staff had told him to come back later for a movie night. Or, you know, there could have been a sign or something.

He'd had no idea what that meant. Of course he was here.

He's not concerned with the content so much yet...

Jadesprite floats down the hall wearing her Conquest vest and the skirt. She supposed she ought to play along with what was going on here. As she peered into the room, she let out a short, high pitched whine. She wasn't sure about this.

[loudly, in the middle of the movie]

This movie is crap.

[This is Arthur.]

[Arthur has no idea what is going on]

[He's so baffled it isn't even funny]

[it's actually very funny.]

[This. This was a magnificently awful thing, as terrible as Dirk had warned about and reminiscent to David of some of what he'd draw in his spare time. But it was more, it was so much worse in a way that couldn't be incidental and it all moved.

It also made zero sense. Which seemed appropriate, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he should understand it - the movie itself? or why it was how it was? If he'd just try-

-what was he thinking about. Oh, right, the movie. It was-

was

was?

He felt the beginning of a headache coming on.]

[ p much this face throughout the first hour ]

[ He waves a hand in disgust. ]

This is absurd. They put milk in paper boxes. That makes for a poor container -- it will get soggy.

Edited 2012-06-14 14:24 (UTC)

[Arrives imperially late (as opposed to fashionably, though that too). With Suzaku in tow.

Sits through about 30 minutes of it and he's starting to look pissed off. And he's not bothering with the poker face.] This is what you said was so important?

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BEFORE SEVEN

SEVEN O'CLOCK

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